Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82271 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
I’m sure he is.
“Make sure not to cuss,” Lucas tells us. “And just a gentle reminder, try and be happy, enjoy the haunted house and the psychopath fans… I mean, who knows, you could find love with one?”
God, I want to kill him. I will kill him. Damn it, I also know he’s freakishly fast and I’m in full costume.
He catches himself and looks around like the cameras are already on us. “Don’t get me wrong, I love our fans. But this is next level and I don’t mean that in a bad way, I mean that in a run of the mill observing your fans and the level of the crazy in a way.”
“Is this talk supposed to make us feel better?” I ask him.
Lucas goes on like he didn’t hear me.
“I just feel like they could have grabbed some less aggressive ones for you guys, I just saw Rae in his tiger costume and one of the girls jumped on his back begging for a ride then started like, gyrating against him and she wasn’t even sure which member it was.”
I nod and try not to laugh as the picture comes to mind.
“She wanted tail.”
“She wanted something,” Lucas agrees.
Eric tries to lift his hoof and fails since he forgets he can’t see shit, then lowers his foot or hoof or whatever we’re calling it again and hangs his head in dejection. I can feel the sadness and disgrace emanating from him.
“Why did we agree to this?”
The trailer goes silent.
Finally I say it. “Contractually, you don’t have a choice. When you have a comeback they own your ass. You just have to nod your head, smile, hope your label promotes you, and then when you finally make them a ton of money they tell you they knew it was going to go great—and then they find the next shiny toy to play these games.”
“But it’s not a game,” Eric says. “It’s my life.”
“It is a game,” I tell him. “And you willingly signed up to play it… as a horse with man parts.”
“Hilarious.” Eric grumbles.
“I’m out.” Lucas opens the door.
Standing right there in the frame like something right out of a horror movie come to life, is a giant Spider. Well, it’s someone in a spider costume which I’m not even sure how they got the legs attached around the waist, but they’re dangling to the ground.
It could always be worse, I think to myself.
This poor guy is also in glitter, everywhere, shimmering so that there’s no way you could ever miss him. We apparently have a theme. I wonder what we ever did to deserve such an injustice as the eight eyed figure stares at us.
Eric screams.
Lucas jumps behind him.
And whoever it is just goes. “They want us on set, in five.”
His voice sounds like another TestME member.
A cowboy walks by him and pauses. “Nice legs.”
Yeah that’s definitely Kai’s voice but cowboys? He’s afraid of cowboys?
This is definitely a deep dive into the psyche of all the guys… I don’t really know if I ever wanted to delve so deeply, but I guess now we have no other choice.
“Bite me!” Spiderman yells making all of his legs bounce around him, yeah nobody is happy today.
Shit.
I’m just so sick of it all and I’m sick of following rules that on most days just make no sense. I understand that money makes the world go around and there’s a formula to all of this, but come on?
I understand the success I have is all due to my fans first, my label next, but I would just like one damn choice for myself. I’d like the option, the fucking human right to just be me. To tell the world that I’m not in high school anymore, that I like sex. That I think about sex with one particular woman all the fucking time. That I curse. That I want to eat ramen and carbs. And chips. I love Doritos. I want to tell the world that I express myself through my tattoos. That my music moves me. That the lyrics mean something. That I’m just as fucked up as the rest of them. That I have all the hang ups that any other twenty-year-old man has. That I fucking make mistakes. That my life isn’t perfect and I do go to bed at night with anxiety, even though I’m an idol.
And yeah, that I want to burn this fucking bow off my costume!
Right. The Hell. Now.
“Whoa.” Eric says under his breath.
“What?” I snap.
Lucas sighs. “Yeah, you said all of that out loud.”
My mouth drops open.
“All of it?” I wonder as I think over the rant in my head.
Eric nods his head.
“Shit, I do not belong on live tv today.” I whisper in horror. “I don’t know what my issue I sorry, um, sorry, let’s just follow the fucking spider.”