Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
As if Colt can read my mind, he shakes his head at me. “It’s okay to love her.”
I’m about to deny loving her, but the words get stuck in my throat. I can’t lie to him, not now, not ever.
“We can’t both love her,” I whisper, not wanting to wake Leni up.
“Why not? She wants us both.” Colt doesn’t even bother keeping his voice down. I look down at Leni, who is still passed out.
“She doesn’t love me,” I quip, letting the pain of that realization slice through me. She loves Colt, and that’s not going to change. Jealousy burns a hole in my chest. I lift my hand and rub the spot as if it could alleviate the hurt.
“I think you are wrong,” Colt muses, but I ignore him.
“There is no way Leni loves me, not after what I’ve done to her.” Jealousy fades and guilt settles in my bones. Why do I have to be so fucked up? Why can’t I keep the darkness inside of me in check, hidden from the world? Hidden from her.
“We both did fucked up things to her, and she forgave me. She’ll forgive you too,” Colt tries to assure me.
“I killed her mom,” I point out, letting the whole weight of that dire mistake rest on my shoulder.
“By accident. You didn’t know she was in the house.” Colt tries to make light of the situation, but there is no sugar coating what I did.
“Accident or not. It’s my fault she is dead and then I killed again…” I let my head hang low in shame. I’m not sorry for killing Dennis and Deborah, but I shouldn’t have done it in front of Leni.
“For her. You killed them to protect Leni, and she knows it.”
I’m still standing next to the bed, looking down at some spot on the carpet when Colt climbs into bed and settles next to Leni. I glance up at them, realizing in shock that Leni’s eyes are open. She doesn’t say anything, but I know she heard everything we talked about.
Her eyes are soft and her smile sweet when she lifts an arm and holds out her hand to me. “Come on,” she whispers, bending her fingers to motion for me to lie with her.
I climb into the bed, lying down next to her, I place my hand into hers. She wraps her slender fingers around mine and pulls me closer.
Colt is cuddling her from behind, being the big spoon, but I’m face to face with her, which I like even better.
She grabs hold of my other hand, bringing both of them to her chest, where I can feel her heart beating softly. She closes her eyes again and cuddles into the pillow before murmuring a sleepy, “Goodnight.”
I can’t help but smile as I take her in. She looks so fucking adorable. I want to take a picture. Her hair is a mess from sex, her skin is glowing, and her pouty lips are slightly parted. I could count the freckles on her nose right now and be completely content with just being here with her.
The irony is not lost on me. How can I want to hurt and control her, but also like watching her go to sleep? Less than thirty minutes ago, I wanted nothing but to degrade her and fuck her any way I wanted to, but now I want nothing more than to keep her safe and happy. How can I want both?
Fuck me, I think Colt is right. I think I’m in love with Leni.
28
COLT
Leni: Class ran a few minutes late, and I have to pee. I’ll meet you at the car.
Leni’s text reaches me as I’m walking across campus, ready to meet her and head home. Every day that passes without any mention of our late classmates makes me feel a little more secure. Is it unnerving that there hasn’t been a big uproar over their disappearance? More than a little. But I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If nobody’s concerned about them going missing, I’m not going to worry myself about it. Why waste time making problems? It only means you can’t enjoy what’s going on around you.
The parking lot is half full at this time of day. I cross it, heading to where I parked Leni’s car earlier. She still hasn’t driven it, but at least it’s getting some use until my insurance shit gets ironed out. I wonder if there will ever come a day when she’ll get behind the wheel herself. Maybe I bought myself a car when I meant to buy one for her.
I’m too busy thinking about that to notice an engine revving behind me until it’s almost too late. Reflex takes over. I turn my head to look over my shoulder, then leap out of the way, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a black BMW.