Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 95453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 477(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 318(@300wpm)
“They told me you can’t talk yet, but I know that will come back with enough practice.” I’m almost giddy, chuckling when I raise my head. “Can you imagine there would ever have been a time you couldn’t talk your head off? You’ll get it back. I know you will.”
Her eyes search my face, filled with wonder and confusion and so many questions. “You’ve been in a coma for a long time. I’m sure they told you that already,” I whisper, and she nods slightly, squeezing my hand. My mom just squeezed my hand. A sob tries to build in my chest, but I hold it back. I’m so fucking happy; I don’t know what to do. It’s like getting the biggest, best gift ever, and I have no idea what to do with it. “Do you know why?”
Her eyebrows draw together for a second, and I wish I hadn’t asked when I see the pain in her eyes. She remembers. But hey, at least now we know her memory wasn’t lost. If she remembers the bad, that means she’ll be able to remember the good, too. That’s how life works. Good and bad.
“Let me tell you something.” Looking her straight in the eye, I murmur, “He’s dead. Dad is dead. You never have to worry about him again. He can never hurt you again—he can’t hurt any of us. That part is all over. All you have to do now is focus on recovering. And I will do everything I can to help you, I swear. We’ve got this, right?”
The corners of her mouth twitch in a weak smile, but again, her brows meet over the bridge of her nose. When her lips part, I hold my breath, waiting. Is she going to try to speak? Will she be upset if it doesn’t work?
After what feels like forever, she lets out a frustrated sigh and mouths a single word: “Nix.”
Obviously, she was going to ask about him. I’m sitting here, practically in tears, but he’s nowhere in sight. “Nix isn’t here right now. We haven’t seen him in a while. He is… away, but it’s okay. I know he’ll be back.” It’s only when Leni makes a choked sound behind me that I remember she’s even here. I’ve been so focused on Mom, I didn’t think about her. She doesn’t approve of what I said, just like she doesn’t approve of me refusing to believe my brother is dead. But that’s because he’s not dead. I know he isn’t.
It’s safer and better to turn toward her and extend a hand. “Mom, Leni’s my girlfriend now. I know that will come as a surprise,” I add, turning back to her and watching her eyes go big and wide. “We live together, only minutes from here. We’ve come to see you so many times, and we’ll be back all the time, too. Both of us. I know you must have a million questions.”
Mom snorts softly, and Leni and I laugh. Even the fact that she can do that is a win. The sort of win I never hoped for.
She’s obviously getting tired, her eyes half-closed and her head sinking into the pillow. There’s been more activity in the past hour than she’s experienced in years. After promising to be back to see her tomorrow, I kiss Mom’s forehead and we leave the room, heading down to the cafeteria since we never took time to eat breakfast, and I’m not quite ready to leave yet. There’s too much to process.
I barely feel my feet touch the floor the whole way downstairs. My head is in the clouds. It was a short visit, but it was the best visit of my life.
“You were so great in there.” Leni waits next to me while the guy behind the counter scrambles eggs for us. The cafeteria is surprisingly good, with a huge selection of foods. We’ve eaten more than a few meals here ever since I had Mom moved so she could be close to us.
“It’s one of those things where you imagine a hundred times what you would do or say, but then the moment comes and everything you ever thought goes out the window.” Leni is the only person I would confess something like that to—well, her and Nix. I don’t know what’s worse: missing him or hating him for removing himself from my life, all our lives. Upsetting Mom, though I’m sure he never thought she would factor in. I didn’t learn until after the explosion that she was even alive and comatose in a Florida hospital.
“I don’t know how I would’ve handled it, so I’m in awe of you,” she says. I don’t know how she manages to be so supportive and loving sometimes. Like there’s this endless well of love inside her. I don’t think I deserve it, but she seems to think I do.