Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
She wasn’t so sure of that, but she also couldn’t deny that she would regret it if she never spent a night with him. “Charlotte is setting me up with some men she thinks I should meet. I’m planning on going on those dates. You’re okay with that?”
“Nope. I’m nauseated by that, but that is the last I’ll say about it because I put us in this position. I will support you and care for you even if you don’t pick me in the end. You’ll always be my best friend. If you find a man you love, I will bury this feeling so it never makes him uncomfortable, but I need to be in your life.”
Why couldn’t he have said these words to her even a few months before? Why had he only said them after she’d finally pushed away from him? Was that it? Was it the chase he was interested in? Would she find herself right back where she was once she gave in?
“Again, I’m pushing when I should be patient. I’m sorry,” he said quietly, letting go of her arm. He started to move past her but stopped. “Hey, could you look at my back? I’m worried one of the wounds opened up.”
Her whole heart seemed to soften and worry infused her. He’d been hurt, tortured, and she was throwing him into a room and walking away.
“Of course. Let’s get to where we have some light.” She followed him to Tasha’s room. Like the others in the house, it was small but cozy. Tasha’s room was ultra-feminine. Masculine TJ looked out of place in the pastel-walled room with its queen-sized bed and dainty furnishings. There were family pictures in frames around the room, and ones of Tasha and her friends. TJ sat down on the fluffy comforter and gave her his back.
She breathed out as she studied him. There were welts all over, bruises that showed how brutal they’d been with him. “Are you sure we shouldn’t get you to a doctor?”
“Aidan’s coming over in the morning. Cooper’s got some medic training, and he says it’s all superficial. The shakes have stopped for the most part,” he replied, sitting calmly while she brushed her fingers over the places where his skin had singed. “I was lucky. They wanted to keep me in pretty good condition. I think they figured out torturing someone I loved would be more efficient than hurting me. But we were lucky they didn’t start in on you.”
She hadn’t been worried about that. “I’ve been tased before. I know it hurts, but I could have handled it.”
He turned. “Who the fuck tased you?”
There was the protective bear. He wasn’t thinking straight. “I’m on a CIA team, and I do go into the field. I’ve had all the training, and some of that included how to survive an interrogation. As to who tased me, it was some chick from Langley. I can’t remember if she was a Black or a Green. One of the colors we use even on ourselves at times. She spent about six weeks going over all the horrible things that could happen to us and how to counter them. Including how to use a cyanide pill to take all those secrets to our graves. She was a sadist, I think. It disturbed her to no end that Kala smiled through all of it. I think it might have been Kala’s favorite part of training.”
He turned, and there was fire in his eyes. “I want to know who she was.”
She needed to find a way to make him reasonable about this. “TJ, she was Agency. I’m Agency. She was good at her job, which was training us to deal with things that could happen in the field. You got trained, too, and not all of it was fun.”
“I’m a soldier,” he pointed out. “You’re an analyst and technical expert.”
She was more than that, and he needed to understand. “Yes, and I make things that we use to spy on other countries with. The crap that’s in my head is valuable. I know how we operate, how everything functions, and I know what innovations I’m working on. Your uncle wouldn’t let me on the team without the training. Same with Tash. Her last name alone makes her valuable. I didn’t love that period of my life, but I did find it oddly freeing. I’m tougher than I look, tougher than I thought I would be. It made me realize I did spend way too much time in my head. My body is strong, too. My body can be used to help my team. I still work out. Kala and I spar from time to time, though I know she takes it easy on me. If I let my physical training go, your uncle would have my hide.”