Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
They’d paid for the best private schools, making her mother terrified they would pull the financial funding if she ever stepped out of line. Lou’s life had been dictated by what her grandmother thought she should do, should be, should attain. She’d been pushed through school, her brain academically ahead but her emotional state lagging behind.
It had been a fight. Until her mom had found Boomer and she’d had the support she needed from this amazing family he’d brought them into.
And then it wasn’t a fight at all.
Because Kala and TJ had fought for her. Without her even knowing it. “You can’t hide things from me anymore. If you want me to fight, I have to know what I’m fighting.”
“I just… You were so young.”
“I’m not now. I know I was young when you took me under your wing. In some ways, you needed someone to fight for.” Because Cooper didn’t want her to fight for him. Kala needed someone to focus on. Kenzie had wanted her own world, her own friends. Lou had stepped into that place. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
Kala’s head fell back, and her eyes closed. “Don’t.”
“Yeah, I’m doing it because you have to understand that me changing things up doesn’t mean we change. Except for the whole Lou needs to be protected at all costs. I’m not a kid anymore. I can handle things. I won’t ask you to not watch out for me. I need that.”
And so did Kala.
“You changing things up means trying this whole D/s thing with TJ?”
“I don’t know that it’s a good idea.” Because she couldn’t seem to help herself around him, and she couldn’t quite believe he actually wanted her.
Kala nodded. “Then you’ve made your decision and I’ll support you. I need to tell him he can’t come over, though. I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s coming back with us.”
Because he always came to their place when he was home on leave. It didn’t make sense for him to rent an apartment, and while he loved his parents, he would rather stay with his cousins.
No. That was wrong. He wanted to stay with her.
The idea of TJ not seeing her when he was on leave was… It left a kind of hollow place inside her. Was she ready to give it all up? If she rejected him, could they find a way to be friends again someday?
Kala started to stand but Lou stopped her. “Don’t. Tell him he can stay in the office.”
Kala stared down at her. “Lou, don’t be like him. If you don’t want him, let him go.”
The world seemed watery all of the sudden. Not want him? How could she not want him? The words didn’t even make sense to her. TJ had always been the center of her universe.
Or maybe he’d been the easy thing to fixate on because he was always out of reach. Always sweet and nice, and he made her feel good when they were together. She’d halfheartedly tried to kiss him a couple of times and shrugged it off after.
Was she in love with TJ or with the idea of TJ because she never had to take that scary step with him?
“I can’t imagine a world without him,” Lou admitted. “But I’m having a hard time seeing us together.”
“You’re always together. You function like a team. He lights up when you walk in a room,” Kala pointed out. “But up until today you were missing something necessary.”
She knew exactly what her bestie was talking about. “Sex.”
“Yup. Hot, sweaty, satisfying sex, and I kind of think you’re the only one who got the satisfying part.” She frowned suddenly. “Oh, shit. Was he bad? The way my dad talked about it I thought you were having a good time. Was he shitty at oral?”
Sometimes she wished Kala wasn’t so open about sex. “That was not the problem.”
“No, the problem is you’re a big old scaredy cat, and that’s okay. He’s played a part in that.” Kala eased back down. “So do what my mom would tell you to do. Take him up on his D/s offer and keep dating. See how that goes for you.”
There was a light in Kala’s eyes.
“You think I should keep dating? While I’m playing with TJ?”
“A D/s relationship doesn’t have to be exclusive,” Kala mused. “You told him you were going to date, so mean it. Show him it wasn’t a ploy to get him in line. Keep it light with him. Prove you can be friends with benefits for a while until you either know it can work with him or you find the one you want to stick with.”
“This feels like a trap.” It was too good to be true. She would get to try with TJ while not giving up on her plan.