Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
“I never told anyone that.”
“But you didn’t defend me, did you?” He didn’t want to do this. “Lou, I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight.”
“What if I do?” Lou asked between clenched teeth. “You know what else we never do, TJ? Besides have actual sex, we never fight. Because I always back down and you always know that I’ll fall in line.”
“Fall in line?” He breathed out a long sigh because his heart ached. “I can’t do this with you. We don’t fight because the last thing I want to do is hurt you, and it feels like me being around is hurting you. I didn’t mean to do that. I know you don’t believe me, but I love you. I love you so fucking much, and I’m going to prove it by doing the only thing I can do.”
Her arms crossed over her chest as she watched him with wary eyes. “What’s that? What can you possibly do that would make things better for me?”
His heart ached. “Leave, baby. I thought I could push my uncle to let me on the team and play a long game to convince you to take a chance on us, but if this is what me being close does to you, it’s time for us to call it.”
Her face flushed. “One fight? I get mad once and you’re walking out? Yeah. It’s time for us to call it.”
She turned and went back to her computer.
He stood there, utterly at a loss. TJ took a long breath, letting the last few minutes sink in.
She was afraid and she was pushing boundaries, and he’d done the one thing he shouldn’t have. He’d given in. He’d been so determined not to push her that he hadn’t realized she might need to push him. She might need to shove against him to see if he would crack.
She didn’t need him to be a freaking martyr in this moment. She needed him to be her Dom.
“Louisa, I told you to take off your fucking clothes. If you aren’t naked in one minute, we’ll move straight to the spanking.”
She turned, her eyes wide. “What? You said we’re over. You don’t get to spank me.”
He needed to make something plain to her. “I had a moment of weakness, but Lou, you need to understand that it will never be over between us. If you shove me out, I’ll be waiting for you to come home to me, and it won’t matter who you’ve been with or what you’ve done. I will be standing there and I’ll greet you with open arms and I’ll spend whatever time we have left loving you. If you don’t, I’ll spend that time missing you, wishing you were here with me. You do not have to make a decision today. You can take what I give you and find comfort in it and go right back to being mad at me. You can date whoever you want to date, and I will be waiting. So take off your clothes or say your safe word and I’ll go sit on the couch until you’re ready to go home.”
Her jaw was a stubborn line. “What if I don’t want you in my house?”
“Then I’ll sit outside in the rain the same way I did when we were seventeen and you wouldn’t go to prom with me.”
They stood there for a moment, staring at each other, the distance mere feet, but it felt like miles to TJ. It felt like there was a mountain between them, but he suddenly knew he was going to climb it. “I’m human, Lou. You think you’re afraid I’ll leave. I’m afraid you’ll figure out I’m not worthy of you. But I’m done being afraid. You might change your mind someday, but I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you never regret being with me and yes, that means when you’re ready marrying me. Living with me. Having kids with me, if you want them. Having a bunch of overly anxious dogs with me. Growing old with me. I’ll do anything to make that happen, but right now all that matters is the next hour. Let me take all that worry away. Let me top you.”
When her hands when to the hem of her shirt, he knew he still had a shot.
Chapter Sixteen
Lou wasn’t even sure what she was doing, but she pulled her shirt over her head and let it fall to the floor.
Every word her mother had said, Kala had said…fuck, everyone over the last twelve years of her life had said about her and TJ was rolling through her system. It had always been so simple. She loved TJ and he couldn’t love her back, and everyone knew the universe had somehow wronged her. Unrequited love. She was its victim.