Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 116898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry I’ve made things so hard for you.”
My heart clenches for my poor twin. Our bond is unmatched. I love him as fiercely as he loves me, but sometimes we lack balance. “It’s okay. Nothing worth fighting for should come easy. And I know it comes from a good place. You’re my trampoline, and I’m yours.”
“Safe to fall.”
“Always.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Infinite
Kodiak
Present day
I WAIT, SITTING on the top step outside Lavender’s door.
She appears at the landing and gives me a small smile. “No breaking and entering this time?”
I grin sheepishly. I could’ve picked the lock, but waiting for her seems symbolic of this new version of us. “Figured it was better if you let me into your space, considering the conversation. Everything okay with River?”
“I think so. He’s spent so much of his life focused on me that he hasn’t looked enough at himself and what he wants. We had that year apart, which was good for both of us, but now that I’m here it’s like we’re right back where we started. He needs to figure himself out, just like we need to figure us out.”
I nod. “I guess I never thought about it like that.” But it makes sense. “Now that you don’t need looking out for, everything has shifted.”
“But he’ll be okay. I think he probably needed someone to tell him it’s okay to live for himself instead of everyone else.”
She holds out her hand, her expression both expectant and the tiniest bit uncertain until I stand and thread my fingers through hers. The connection we’ve always had feels stronger than ever.
She unlocks her door, and we slip inside. The lamp beside her sewing machine is the only light in the room and casts shadows over her face, making it hard for me to read her expression. She links our fingers again and leads me over to her bed, flicking on the light beside it, which washes the pale purple comforter in its soft glow. She turns on her stereo, and the low tones of her favorite band fill the room.
Lavender doesn’t speak as she moves me to sit on the edge of her bed. My heart pounds, and my palms are damp. I wipe them on my thighs and part my legs as she steps into the space. Those vibrant blue eyes meet mine as she sifts her fingers through my hair. I feel the contact through my entire body, all the way to the core of my guilty, fractured soul.
“I missed you so much,” I whisper. “It’s been hell being this close to you and still feeling like we were a million miles apart.”
She nods and inhales a slow, steadying breath as she steps in closer, wrapping her arms around me. I mirror the movement, pulling her into me and feeling the pulse in her throat against my cheek, breathing in her familiar scent.
Lavender traces the infinity symbol up and down the back of my neck, along my spine, and I echo the pattern between her shoulder blades. Our breathing syncs, our heartbeats find a steady rhythm, and we hold on to each other, anchors and buoys.
I turn my face toward her, her pulse thrumming against my lips. We both make a soft, needy sound and chuckle at the same time. Lavender shifts to straddle my lap and begins the torturous process of tracing the contours of my face, her fingers, gentle and warm, skimming my lips and eyes.
I encircle her wrist and kiss the tip of each finger and the faded scars on her palm before I place it against the side of my neck. I brush my thumb across her bottom lip, over the scar that marked a beginning and an ending we never could have predicted.
“I want to take away every hurt I caused, but I don’t know how,” I admit.
She cups my face between her warm palms. “You can start by erasing all the little lies with truths.”
It’s Lavender who tips her chin up and brings my mouth to hers.
My entire universe shifts back into alignment.
Her lips part, and I breathe in her forgiveness as our tongues meet on a soft stroke. I catalogue this moment: the slight weight of her body in my lap, the way her breasts press against my chest, the arch in her spine, the hum of her need vibrating through me, the uneven texture of her bottom lip where the scar is, the taste of watermelon Jolly Rancher, the smell of her sheets, her lavender shampoo, and her vanilla body lotion.
Everything about this has been inevitable—our connection a wire stretched tight to the point of snapping, but with enough strength to survive the tension. We’ve been traveling in a figure eight, passing each other until we finally got the timing right and met in the middle.
The calm I haven’t experienced in years merges with a desire so all-consuming, it feels like I’m melting from the inside. Lavender’s hands slide under the hem of my shirt, pushing the fabric up. She breaks our kiss and tugs it over my head, then removes her shirt. Her bra is the color of her name. It’s made of satin and lace, pretty, delicate.