Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 47529 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47529 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 238(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
“We tried introducing her to the neighbor’s human, but they didn’t get along, and now they fight through the fence. I don’t know what a bay-sic bi-ch is, but every time this one sees theirs, she shouts it at full volume.”
“Introducing humans has to be done carefully,” I remind them. “You can’t just put them together and expect them to get along. And training is essential, especially for a human her age. She’s only in her twenties. With the right training, she will be an excellent companion for the next thirty to forty years.”
“I know. We had to put our last human down when he got out on the interstellar highway. We thought a younger female would be easier.”
“A common misapprehension,” I commiserate. My brother, Kahn, should never have sold this girl. I had words with him about it, but he said he’d found her in the stock section. I didn’t put her there, and I am almost certain she was probably trying to sneak her way out when she was sold.
This is not the time for an I told you so, but at the time, I did contact the family and warn them that they had been sold a pet who was not entirely trained. They insisted on keeping her, of course. They thought she was cute, and at first her antics were funny. They refused to return her, and I had no legal recourse to reclaim her. That was all of three days ago.
No matter how many times I give new human owners the spiel about human care, or how many times I revise my Alien’s Guide To Keeping People As Pets, there is no such thing as an easy human. They may be more simple than us, smaller than us, and live relatively short lives, but they are complex, social beings.
“You do have to speak to the humans. They can’t hear your thoughts.” I say that out loud, demonstrating how it is done. Though they are returning this young lady, there is a significant chance they will buy another. Humans have become status symbols on Euphoria. My brother and I can barely keep up with the demand from aristocratic families.
“Speaking is so…” The lady of the house makes face of disgust. “I don’t want the children picking up the habit.”
I know Kahn would have told them about speaking to their human, and I know he would not have sold her without their enthusiastic agreement. I’ve seen it many times before, excited families oohing and aaahing over the human pet they just picked out, promising to love him or her forever and telling me how very experienced they were with humans, having had several before.
I would be disappointed, but unfortunately, unprepared owners and difficult pets are a common enough phenomenon in my line of business. Education is important, as is righting wrongs when they arise.
“We will always accept returns,” I say. “Let’s take her back and put her safely in a cage, and we can get your refund processed.”
2
Jen
I’m stuck over the shoulder of the alien, his big palm clasped over my ass to keep me in place. He touches me with casual intimacy. He holds me like he owns me. I’d almost forgotten in just the handful of days I was with the aliens who just returned me that he was this comfortable with handling me. They were not. I’ve sunk my teeth into more skin and scales in the last 72 hours than I have in my entire life. I’d bite him too, but the way he’s holding me makes it completely impossible.
This alien is an asshole with a savior complex. He has the nerve to think turning me into a commodity to be sold is doing me a favor. I thought I’d escape the family but they have been just competent enough to keep me contained long enough to get here. Their houses are built to their size, and reaching some of the latches and things is a challenge, especially when they tie you up every chance they get. I have chafe marks around my wrists and ankles from being bound by these stupid fucking aliens.
Arkan, the alien who has me now, is eight feet tall, offensively handsome, and I hate him. I keep squirming in the effort to escape his grip, but all that happens is his fingers palm my ass a little harder in warning.
These aliens can best be described as something between an elf and an orc with just a hint of dragon besides. Arkan has the cool, calm, superior demeanor of an elf, along with the crystalline gaze and the long, flowing purple-blue hair. He has the musculature and lower tusks of an orc, and he has the light scaling on the outside of his shoulders and arms, and probably legs of a dragon with a sort of bare-ish patch along his torso, and I suppose all the way down his stomach. I don’t know what environment they evolved in, and I don’t give a fuck.