Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
“But you both have to put me to bed. I think that’s very reasonable.” The bathroom was small but there was space for both of them in my room. “Unless we’re always going to sleep in Tate’s bed?”
He had the biggest bed, so we’d let him have the big room when we’d moved in sophomore year, and it was nice to see that I was finally getting rewarded for being nice.
Hmm.
Something made them confused because their heads tipped to the side and they looked like confused puppies.
“I like schedules.” Dean was so nice and smiled.
“And tucking you in is very reasonable.” Tate was still looking confused but then he was magic too and reached in the tub to find my missing person. “There we go.”
“Thank you.” He was so helpful. “Now they can get eaten.”
Dean sighed. “I’m not even going to respond to that statement.”
Tate giggled at Dean’s drama. “I will. Who’s going to get eaten first?”
“Oh, that’s hard.” We figured it out, though. The dolphins didn’t eat anyone because that wasn’t how they were naughty, but the sharks thought my people were tasty and we even had a monster that sucked some of them under the water to eat them.
“How is playing in the bathtub this stressful?” Dean was frowning and shaking his head as we lost another of the people.
“They’re stupid?” I looked down at their bodies and shrugged. “They should’ve gotten out of the water after the first one was lunch.”
It wasn’t my fault that they were dumb.
“No self-preservation instincts.” Tate shrugged too. “It can’t be helped. Some people just weren’t meant for the gene pool.”
Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure that’s offensive in some way.”
Not if Tate was right.
“I’m hungry.” But distracting Dean was a good idea. “Did you make my snack? I’m not a prune yet. See?”
I held up my hands and wiggled my fingers.
Tate snickered but Dean raised one eyebrow and leaned closer. “I think I see wrinkles.”
“No, they’re waves because of the ocean.” Pointing to my bubbles and my animals, I frowned. “It’s dangerous to be in the ocean.”
It was so easy to just get eaten.
Tate grinned and grabbed the shark, making him swim toward my penis under the bubbles. “Yum. Yum. Yum.”
I laughed but Dean sucked in a breath. “Don’t let that shark eat his dick. That’s just… You can’t…”
Tate could.
Tate did.
And he laughed and laughed.
Dean didn’t like the shark eating me. “Okay, it’s time for a distraction. I have the snack ready.”
He was so cute…even Tate giggled as he watched Dean stomp out the door. “Daddy didn’t like that.”
He’d whispered, but I was sneaky and had very good hearing when I was paying attention…and he’d said Daddy.
Hmm.
“Alright, I pictured you more being the fisherman that you were for Halloween, but I guess this still goes with the ocean theme even if you’re encouraging mass murder…or maybe it’s some kind of genocide.” Dean frowned as he came back into the bathroom but he was amazing. “I don’t think it’s stupid, but it might be a bit over the top.”
“Ohhh…” My fisherman box. “Me. Me. I’m a fisherman. I’m…I’m a guide. Oops everyone’s dead but I still need a snack.”
Dean sighed and looked at me funny. “I have no idea what to say to that, but the internet keeps showing me these stupid snack boxes and I can’t get them to stop.”
“Because it’s amazing.” Wiggling up on my knees but being very, very careful, I leaned over and looked at Tate and even pretended he didn’t have the giggles. “Look. I got a snack box.”
“Hey.” Tate pretended to frown. “That’s a big enough snacklebox that I get some too.”
Now it was my turn to giggle and to be greedy because Dean set my fisherman box down and opened it all the way. “Fruit. Cheese. Crackers. All kinds of goodies.”
“Chocolate chips too.” Yay. The big ones. “And grapes.”
“Oh, I forgot we had that pepperoni.” Tate’s eyes got big and greedy as he took little meaty circles and crackers. “This is the best snack for killing off stupid people.”
“I’m not sure leaving you two unsupervised was a good idea.” Dean sat down on the closed toilet seat and looked like he wanted to tell us to be nicer. “Everyone is dead?”
Tate shrugged. “Survival of the fittest.”
“Yes. That.” Oh, I could do chocolate and a circle cracker and grapes.
“I’m not going to tell you how wrong that looks.” Dean couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to pout or groan. “But that looks disgusting.”
He was so silly…so I had to do it again.
Bathtime snacks were the best.
Chapter 19
Dean
They were bloodthirsty, but easily distracted, so the killing spree stopped once they charged into snack time. Once Joel was full, though, he started looking around and frowned at his flat bubbles that were on their last legs. “Oh, I need more.”