Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98023 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 490(@200wpm)___ 392(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
As for the menu, it makes everything I did with Blake last night feel just the tiniest bit less exposed. Georgia, Julia, and Evie are supposed to meet us here soon, but their driver hit traffic coming back from the Hamptons. So, right now, it’s only my mom and me, and for some reason, that makes me feel anxious to take advantage.
“I think I’m going to try the harvest salad,” my mom remarks, studying the menu herself as though she didn’t help my dad create it. “I’m in the mood for strawberries. What are you thinking, Lex?”
I’m thinking about the thing I always think about these days, much to my chagrin—Blake Boden. Like it or not, memories of him fester on my brain’s every available surface, waiting to be addressed. Tackling that elephant seems a little traumatic, of course, so instead, I settle for a broad question that feels like it at least scratches in the vicinity of the itch.
“When you and Dad first started dating, were you sure you wanted to be with him, or were you confused?”
“You know, Lex, I don’t think that’s on the menu.” I roll my eyes, and she laughs. “Sorry. You just caught me off guard with that one.” She hums. “Well, let’s see. I’d like to say I was confident, but if I’m honest, I was definitely scared. I had you, of course, and you were the light of my life. The last relationship I’d tried to make work ended in disaster, and your uncles were operating on a pretty hair trigger when it came to new men. I knew Wes was special, but I didn’t know if it was going to work.” She shrugs. “Is that the kind of answer you were looking for?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “To be honest, I’m not sure what I’m looking for. I was just…curious.”
My mom nods but is careful not to study me too closely. She’s one of the only people who truly understands and respects how uncomfortable it makes me. “That’s fair. From my own experience, relationships are always complicated. There are ups and downs and obstacles and unknowns. But when they’re right, they always seem to sort themselves out. Look at me and Georgia and Cassie and all your uncles. Everyone has their moment if you wait long enough.”
“I don’t know if I’m…moment material,” I admit. “I want to be, but I just… Some things are better off locked in my head.”
“There’s no timeline on figuring it out, you know?” she comforts. “One day, you’ll know for sure what’s right for you, and when you do, your father and your brother and I—we’ll all be there to support you.”
I swallow hard, warring with myself over sharing something about Blake or not. Deep down, I know I should, but I just can’t bear the thought of exposing myself like that. I don’t like topics I haven’t mastered. I don’t like wondering how I can learn everything I need to quickly, and I don’t like feeling out of control.
What if I’m getting it all wrong?
I can’t imagine what that would mean for the part of my personality that hinges on getting everything right.
“Thanks,” I say, settling for a simple show of gratitude. My mom’s smile is warm and understanding, and if possible, it makes me feel even worse.
Maybe I can start off by sharing Blake’s pursuit? Maybe I can tell her how long he’s been—
“Hello, hello!” Georgia greets hurriedly, hustling both Julia and Evie around the table to my side to take the seats next to me. “Soooo sorry we’re late.”
“Hey, Lex,” Julia says excitedly, leaning in for a side hug before sitting down. “Never expected to see you here!”
“Yeah. I’m trying to expand my horizons a little. My brother seems to think I’m going to spend all my time in the lab until rigor mortis sets in. I told him I do other things, but he didn’t seem to believe me.”
Julia laughs, and I can read the unspoken words about Double C as they cross her face as though they’re a flashing neon sign. If he only knew. “Hey, I’ll take it. I always love a chance to hang out with you, expected or not.”
Evie doesn’t say anything, focused instead on the menu in front of her, her eyes glazed with distant thoughts. It’s weird, given how effervescent she normally is, so while my mom and Georgia gab and catch up with each other, I lean toward Julia and raise an eyebrow. “What’s with your sister? Is she in mourning or something? She’s never this quiet.”
Julia laughs. “She has her earbuds in, listening to a romantasy audiobook Cassie gave her at dinner last week. I think it’s a retelling of Hades and Persephone or something with a parallel universe and monsters. She’s transfixed.”
Evie Brooks isn’t the first daughter in our group to be folded into the romance genre by Cassie Kelly herself without their mother’s knowledge. In fact, as the eldest of the group, I was first.