Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 130307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
That I was scared.
That I didn’t know what to do.
That I didn’t know how to act, now that the rules had been blown to smithereens.
But I couldn’t go back. I only had right here, right now — and apparently, we had an audience.
“Chloe, you know I’m no good with words,” I said, swallowing at the truth of that statement. “I never have been. It got worse after Jenny passed, and to be honest, I never cared. I never felt like I had a thing to say. Not until you came into my life.”
Chloe tried to squeeze through the barricade her mom and grandmother had made, but they snuffed her out, both of them arching a brow at me.
“But I’m going to try,” I continued. “For you. I’m going to try to voice what I should have a long time ago. I’m going to try to be better in every measurable way. Because that’s what you deserve. It’s what you make me want for myself. You…” I swallowed, shaking my head. “You have burrowed into my heart so deeply, it feels like you’ve always been there. It feels as if my heart would cease to beat if I lost you.”
Chloe’s eyes welled with tears, her nose flaring as she covered her lips with shaking fingertips.
“One day, I was just a shadow of a man going through the motions, surviving. And the next, I had you. Suddenly, I was awake. Suddenly, I was smiling, and laughing, and longing for someone in a way I didn’t know was possible. You… you altered my fucking chemistry, Chloe. You obliterated the dark haze I’d existed in for years. You brought in the sun.”
“Language, young man,” her grandmother warned, but I didn’t miss how she was now leaning against the door frame, her spatula lowered, her guard down.
“Apologies, ma’am,” I said, offering her a sheepish smile before my gaze was on Chloe once more.
I wanted to hold her. I wanted to sweep her into my arms and be able to touch her as I confessed every last word.
“I knew even when I set those flimsy rules between us that they were useless. That I was powerless against the way I already felt for you. I tried, Chloe. I did. I tried to stay away from you. I tried to keep us both from this… this pain, this foreign territory. I knew you weren’t looking for a man. I knew you didn’t want to date anyone. I knew I wasn’t worth dating, that I was so fu—” I swallowed, noting the warning glare from Grandma. “Messed up that I couldn’t be the man you deserved. But it didn’t matter. Not my best intentions, not my futile attempts to keep us both safe by drawing out the do’s and the don’ts.” I shook my head. “Because you are not the kind of woman any rule applies to. You are the exception. You are the one they’re meant to be broken for.”
Chloe smiled, crossing her arms over her stomach as her bottom lip wobbled.
“I’m sorry I left without a word this morning. I’m sorry I was too much of a coward to stay and work this out with you. I thought taking a little time and space would somehow make the answers magically appear. But the truth is I have no idea what comes next. I don’t know how we navigate the new road ahead of us. All I know is that the second I kissed you, everything changed.
“Maybe we’ll only make it a few months. Maybe I’ll give you my last name and we’ll grow old together. Maybe it’ll be something in-between. Whatever it is, I know that it’s worth any pain that might come, any challenges, any roadblocks. And I know I want this. I want you. I want us.”
My hands were shaking now, but I held her gaze, held my promise.
“I want your ridiculous fuzzy robes in the morning and your tea-breath kisses. I want your laughs with my daughter and your midnight existential crises. I want your cat hair on my clothes and your imprint on my heart. I want to watch you make a mess of our house with every new creation, want to listen to every wise word you share with my daughter who I know loves you more than even I do already. I want to feel you in my arms at the end of every night and inhale the scent of you on my pillow at the start of every morning.
“I’m going to screw up, that I know without a doubt. But I can also promise you that I will always make it right after. I will always come back to you, better than before, until I am everything you deserve and more. I will care for you, the way you care so fiercely for everyone around you. I will make you a home. I will protect you, and always make sure you have all the room you need to roam.”