Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 130307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130307 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 652(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
“I’m not saying that disrespectfully,” he said quickly. “I’m just saying, you knew. You liked her then. You wanted her and you didn’t just want sex, even if you did set rules.”
“I did,” I ground out.
“Sure, and how fast did you break them?”
Goddamn it, he was good at this.
He chuckled when I didn’t answer. “How bad is it?”
“Bad,” I croaked.
“Come on, tell me,” he said, waving his hand. “The sooner you get this out, the sooner we can both move on. God knows I don’t want to be here any longer than I have to smelling your stinky ass.”
Maybe I was possessed in that moment, or maybe I was just too exhausted to fight — because for reasons unbeknownst to me… I told Aleks fucking Suter everything that had happened between me and Chloe.
I don’t know what I expected as I laid it all out. I watched his face for signs of judgment, but found none. When I finished and he was all caught up, he was quiet for a long time, nodding and scrubbing the five o’clock shadow on his jaw.
“You want to know what I would do?” he asked. “Or do you want me to tell you what I would want to do, but wouldn’t be strong enough for?”
I frowned. “Both.”
“Well, if it were me, I’d fire her,” he said. “Because you’re in love with her, Perry. Plain and simple. And you’re right. There’s a very real possibility one of you, if not both of you, gets hurt in this. She changes her mind. You change yours. And with Ava in the picture…”
My throat closed in on itself at the thought of letting Chloe go — both as our nanny and as the lifeline I didn’t realize she’d become to me. “And the other option?”
The muscle in his jaw worked for a moment as he looked at me like he wasn’t sure he could voice it. Finally, his voice lower than before, he said, “I’d own my mistake of leaving without a word this morning, I’d chase her down wherever she is, and I’d throw myself at her feet. I’d admit I have no fucking idea what I’m doing but that I want her, consequences be damned. I wouldn’t count all the ways it could go wrong. I wouldn’t let fear hold me back. I’d believe in love.”
I swore, I saw a thousand ghosts dancing in his eyes as he spoke, like he wasn’t just talking about me and Chloe.
“You don’t believe in love?” I asked.
“I believe love is very rarely reciprocated, and it’s reserved for men much better than me.”
His expression hardened before I could question him more on that, and he hopped off the bike, clamping a hand hard on my shoulder.
“Look — all I can say is that I’ve known you the least amount of time out of everyone on this team, and even I can see how good this girl has been for you. For your family. I can also see that not giving in to your feelings for her has twisted you up into a fucking knot. So, let me ask you this — when I proposed the option of losing her altogether, did it make you sick to think about?”
“Positively ill.”
“Then you already know the answer. What happened with Jenny…”
I stiffened at her name, and I wouldn’t have thought it was possible had I not seen it with my own eyes, but Aleks softened, frowning, taking a moment to consider his words.
“It was fucking brutal, man. I… I’m sorry you had to go through it. Life handed you a real shit card with that, and I don’t blame you for never wanting to go through anything like it again. I’m not going to sit here and tell you everything with Chloe will be a fairy tale, and I have no idea what her lifespan will be. Sure, you might lose her. But hell, we could all lose someone. It’s a possibility every single day. That’s why they stitch shit on pillows about hugging everyone you love and making the most of every moment.”
I almost laughed.
“So yeah, I don’t know what will happen or how long you’ll have with her. Maybe forever. Maybe just a few months. But I do know that my goalie ain’t no fucking bitch,” he said with a smirk. “And you’re a better man than I am, than most are. So, don’t let fear fuck this up. Don’t lose her because of what ifs.”
“But what if she doesn’t want this?” I shot back immediately. “I told you about her family, about her past… and here I am already proving her theory correct.”
“So grovel, you dumbass,” Aleks said simply. “And then do your best every day to prove her wrong, to prove her mom and grandma wrong, too. And if she doesn’t accept that, if she doesn’t want more, then you respect it and you move the fuck on. Jesus,” he added, shaking his head and releasing his hold on me. “Alright, are we done with this? I’m breaking out in hives. And you smell like dog shit.”