Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 66980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 335(@200wpm)___ 268(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 335(@200wpm)___ 268(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
“And you had to kill someone,” Brielle guesses as she looks at me with concern dancing in those pretty eyes.
The only other people who know about this, besides my father, are Judah and Valen. Not even Emilio or Jordan know this secret about me.
“I did,” I confirm with a nod.
This time, there is a weighted silence that hangs like a guillotine. The blade precarious as it waits to be dropped. I don’t know what she’ll make of me after this. Brielle may never want to talk to me again, and if I was being honest with myself, I wouldn’t want to either.
But there’s nothing more I want right now, than for her to look at me and tell me she’ll still care for me after what I’m about to tell her.
“He brought me into this room, where I was sat in the dim light. His men dragged a body in behind them, and I was convinced whoever it was had been killed already. I actually felt relief, but then they bound the body to a chair, and it was only when they woke her up that I realised who she was.”
Brielle’s gaze widens in surprise, her mouth pops open, and I know she’s probably figured it out. But she doesn’t say anything, she allows me to continue.
After a deep breath, I say, “When I looked into this woman’s eyes, I knew who she was. She didn’t even have to open her mouth.”
This time, her voice is nothing more than a soft shaky breath. “It was your birth mother.”
I want to say no, I want to shake my head and tell her she’s wrong, but I can’t, because she isn’t. That night, I changed. I turned off all those feelings that had been plaguing me for years, and I became the emotionless soldier my adopted father wanted me to be.
“And you did what was expected of you?” Brielle questions as she glances up at me.
I can tell she already fears the worst, even though hope of a happier ending to my story still glimmers in her eyes, but she doesn’t need to hold onto that useless emotion. I dispensed with it a long time ago.
“I had no choice. It was made clear that it was either me pulling the trigger or I would have to watch them torture her. Michele wanted me to learn what this life was truly like. He told me I could watch her learn her lesson for walking out on me, or I could end her pain, quickly and easily.”
“So he used your mother, who you didn’t even know was alive, as a weapon,” Brielle puts the pieces together, and when she blinks, a tear trickles down her cheek, forcing me to rush to her.
“Don’t,” I tell her as I swipe her cheek. “There’s no need to cry.” I don’t want her tears. It’s a fucked-up situation, and I hate seeing her like this. “I’m telling you about my past only because you need to know who I am.”
“And now that I do, I feel…”
“Pity?”
She shakes her head. “Sadness.”
I pull her into my arms and cocoon her from the darkness I’ve just spilled all over her sunshine. I don’t need her to ever feel sadness for me. Even though my life started out filled with violence, I’ve become stronger for it. I don’t regret anything, but I do wish I could change how people see me.
Knowing I killed my own mother to show her mercy, softened the guilt. Michele made me a soldier that day, and in some ways, I’m thankful for it.
“Is that one of the reasons you consider yourself lawless?” she whispers against my chest, and I take a step back to look her in the eye.
“Yes,” I admit. “But I’ll never kill someone who is innocent again. That was the first and last time I ever did that. Granted, she wasn’t entirely innocent, but she didn’t deserve what happened to her. She was an absent mother, not a criminal.”
Brielle nods. “I get it. But you can’t ever blame yourself for what you did.”
“Oh,” I say as the corner of my mouth tips upwards. “Trust me, darling, I don’t blame myself. It’s Michele’s doing. And he’ll get what’s coming to him soon enough.”
There are so many working parts to this, but I can’t tell her those yet, because they involve more than just me. She doesn’t know the rest of the story, and it’s best I keep it that way for now. Judah and Valen need to be present when we tell her the plan. Then we can finally move on.
I never wanted to be the Boss of the family, the clan. But I know Michele has named me the next in line, his successor. It won’t be long until I get there. And when I do, I’ll make sure his work ethic—all the rules he impressed upon us, his soldiers, are scrapped.