Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 96586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 483(@200wpm)___ 386(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Unbearable constriction ruthlessly continues in my chest.
We’ve loved each other from the moment we’ve met.
It’s never stopped.
Not for me.
Not for her.
And I’m even more committed now to do whatever I have to to make this right between us whether that’s beg or bleed at her fucking feet.
Her soul calls to mine.
That’s why I found her.
That’s no matter what happened, the tiniest part of me could not give up the notion of finding her.
“Xander needed to know why we didn’t work. Why we can’t work. Why we would never be able to make it work. He deserved that much from me.” Her chin tips up a little higher. “And I deserve to know the absolutely fucking truth about what I saw this morning.”
Another wave of vibrations forces me to pull the device out of my pocket to silence it. The sight of Law’s scowling photo should have me swiping to answer; however, whatever it is he has to say I know can wait.
He’s my sponsor.
I’m not his.
Her arms fold defensively across her chest. “Who was that on your couch, Ry?”
“Kara.”
“And did you fuck Kara?”
The craving for something to soothe sadness that the accusation brings spikes to the point I have to shut my eyes.
Focus on breathing in.
Out.
Control the urge to reach for a chemical aid to keep the rattled demon in the darkness where it belongs.
When I finally feel like I have some sort of grip on my reality once more, I paste my eyes on hers and reply, “No, Pres. I didn’t fuck her.”
“You sure?” she huffs in outrage. “You took an awfully fucking long time to answer.”
“Because I fucking hate that you asked me that.” Her mouth drops to which I lift a hand to hush her. “That you felt you had to ask me that.”
A grim glow begins in her gaze.
“Kara’s a friend; however, if the choice is between a friendship with her and a forever with you, I’m picking you each and every time, baby.”
Pres’s shoulder suddenly lower.
“I’ll fucking delete her number right goddamn now if that’s what you want.”
“I wanna know who she is,” my girlfriend quietly croaks. “Why she was at your apartment. Why she was fucking naked. Why I didn’t even know she exist!”
“Kara and I met in rehab.” Ignoring Law’s face on the screen continues. “She was the only person I actually spoke to besides Doc. And when I left, I didn’t give her a second thought. It wasn’t until we ran into each other at a support group that a friendship kinda started. Mainly texts. Rambles. Eventually, we started hanging out here and there. She needs me a lot more than I need her.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I have a support system. Shelly. Noah. Law. McCoy. You.”
Her arms finally loosen.
“And she has me. That’s why when she called me last night when someone spiked her fucking drink.”
The tiny gasp out of Pres is expected.
“I left from seeing my father-”
“Wait. You actually decided to go?! Why didn’t you fucking tell me?!”
“I was gonna tell you last night when it was over, but then I went to get her and she was making all these weird sounds in my car, which is why I didn’t fucking answer. And then when I got her to my apartment, I called Law for advice. He basically gave me signs to watch – after I refused to take her to hospital – and that’s what I did all night. I watched to make sure my friend didn’t fucking die on my couch.” Giving my exhausted face a scrub, I add, “I wasn’t around when she got naked. I found that shit out this morning, too. I crashed in my own bed for a couple hours to try to get some sort of sleep before I was supposed to go in today. Chances are whatever she accidentally took had her temp spike or feel like it was spiking, and she ditched her clothes. I didn’t see her naked at any fucking point.”
Worry seems to somewhat shift out of her expression prompting me to force myself to go grimmer.
Grittier.
“And the reason I didn’t tell you about Kara or that I’m having trouble filling out these stupid school forms or that I fucking sprained my goddamn toe at the gym last week is because I’m fucking embarrassed.”
The revelation sags her shoulders. “What?”
“You have no fucking idea what it’s like to look someone in the face who’s damn near perfect and have to question what the fuck could they ever see in a person like you?” I lean over and hit the ignore button to Law’s call. “You have no fucking idea what it’s like to lay in bed at night and wonder what could they ever want let alone fucking need from someone like you?”
“Ry-”
“I have had to fight tooth and fucking nail for a place in your life. To cook for you. To wash your fucking car. To meet your fucking best friend.”