Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81374 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81374 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
The Clan won. Now she’s blissfully content being the wife to Carson and stepmother to Carson’s little Breena, and she no longer fights being tucked into the McCarthy Clan fold.
Some of us still find it stifling.
My fingers fly over the keys.
You up?
A moment later, a response comes in.
Megan: Yes but barely, haha. You alright?
I pause before answering. I don’t want her to feel like she has to drop everything for me, not when I really am okay and not endangered. Heartsick is an illness for which perhaps there’s no cure.
I’m okay.
I feel like I should say more, and my fingers travel swiftly over the screen once more, only to erase each message over and over. There was a time when Megan would meet me for a drink or for a walk along the cliffs of Ballyhock, but now that she’s married and has a child she’s responsible for, those days are over. Not to say she wouldn’t drop everything if I truly needed her—hell, they all will, and have. It just doesn’t feel like this is so important I need to rattle her out of her cozy home.
I finally settle for a simple message.
Just couldn’t sleep, and I miss you. Let’s get together soon?
Megan: absolutely! Have you decided about school?
I blink back sudden tears again. Going to Boston takes me away from Megan, too.
Aye. I draw in a deep breath that makes my shoulders rise, then release it. Deflating.
I’ll be taking up the scholarship at Boston University.
This time three beats pass before she responds.
Megan: Ah. Congrats, love!
I can almost hear the pain in her voice. She continues.
It’s a big move, but you’ll have an opportunity of a lifetime. We’ll miss you loads, but you’ll always have a home here with us!
I blink back the damn tears that surface again and smile anyway.
Thank you.
I want to reach out to her. I want to talk to someone about what’s on my heart, but I can’t. I can’t do that to her, not now, when it’s late and she’s got work in the morning, and I need time to process this myself. Aisling wouldn’t understand. Sheena would, but… well, I don’t want to confide in her about Lachlan. I barely want to admit it to myself.
She wishes me goodnight, and I try once more to get some sleep, but it’s useless. Every time I close my eyes, I see another woman in his arms.
I reach for the locket I wear around my neck, his gift to me, and for a moment I think of taking it off. But no. He was my friend when he gave it to me, and tearing it off would be childish and petty. I open it, peer down, and see the younger version of myself. I close my eyes and will myself to be buoyed by the image, but the effort falls flat.
I punch my pillow, sit up, and stretch. I listen for any sound, but Nolan, Sheena, and the children have gone to bed. We have a guard outside, so there’s no sneaking away like an errant teen, though Megan helped me orchestrate that a few times. I need a little time alone.
I quickly dress and slide on my sandals. We only have a short summer here in Ballyhock. Even the warmest days are breezy, tempered by the ocean that surrounds us, but it was warm when I got home.
I quietly walk to the front door and close it behind me. My phone’s in my pocket and the guard stands within a few feet. One looks my way with a curious expression.
“Y’alright?” he asks.
I nod. “I’m fine, just having a bit of trouble sleeping. Going to take a walk.”
He nods, prepared to follow me. I cringe.
“Any chance you can… give me a little privacy tonight?”
“So sorry, but no. I can walk a few paces behind, but I’m not allowed to give you total freedom.”
I know this, but I suppose it was worth a try.
I nod, and head toward the pathway that takes me to the ocean. I shiver when a brisk wind picks up. I forget how cool it gets when the sun sets here, even in the height of summer. I walk quicker as if to walk away from the cold.
The moon casts a lovely glow over the path that leads to the beach. Large, flat rocks pave my way to the ocean. Both the McCarthy family home and the home I share with Sheena and Nolan lead to the gorgeous, rugged cliffs of Ballyhock. Below us lies the fathomless Irish Sea, and from several vantage points, one can see the harbor. I have a dim awareness that the McCarthy Clan conducts business on the harbor, though I don’t know what exactly that business entails. I love them, so sometimes ignorance is bliss.
Below the cliffs, near the waterfront, lies a small, private beach owned also by the McCarthys, groomed in recent years for the McCarthy family and their friends and family to visit. It’s rarely warm enough to swim, though the height of summer is best. Still, I often go with my mates to the shore, grab fish and chips from a local chippy, and we sit on blankets on the beach and dig our toes in the warm sand.