Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
I stroke the pad of my thumb along the arrowhead, absorbing his words. I didn’t think it had that deep of a meaning. “Am I one of the things you can’t control but can’t help being drawn to?”
“Stop being so full of yourself,” he scoffs, though his gaze softens. He flicks a glance at my chest. “What about your tattoo?”
“It’s about rebirth.”
“Rebirth? Not danger?”
“No.” I let my fingers skim the ink. “A snake shedding its skin represents survival and growth. Power through transformation. It’s about staying fluid, adapting, and never getting too comfortable.”
He falls silent, his hand drifting to the edge of the lily inked on my side. His touch is hesitant and it burns even though he’s not touching the lily. He pulls away, returning to petting the purring kitten on his chest.
He’s always like this—fine with being bent, tied, or dominated in every way, but hesitant about simple gestures of affection. It’s as though touching me too freely will cost him something he’s unwilling to give. The only reason he’s still touching my arm that he tried to remove from his chest earlier is probably because he forgot it’s there.
“What about the lily?” he asks, breaking the silence.
“I’ve always admired its strength and how it blooms under the harshest conditions.”
He hums softly, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, his thoughts seemingly somewhere distant.
“Baby?”
“Yeah?” he murmurs absently. At least he doesn’t bristle at the nickname anymore.
“Why were you in such a bad mood at the archery range?”
“I wasn’t.”
“Gareth, I know when you’re not being yourself. You had that distant look in your eyes and didn’t even notice it was raining. Hyperfixation is your tell.”
He blinks, his eyes widening slightly. “You called me Gareth.”
“Am I not supposed to?”
He shrugs, but his dimples appear. “I prefer my first name to my last.”
“All right, but you’re not changing the subject. What had you so upset?”
His humor fades, replaced by something guarded. “Dad and Kill are reconciling. Or in the process of it.”
“And?”
“And I’m shoved into the background.” He pauses, his jaw tightening. “Well, that sounded dramatic, but yeah. I don’t like it. I’m supposed to be Dad’s favorite.”
Hmm, I suspected this before, despite his clear negation of the fact, but Gareth has some hidden daddy issues. Probably because he thinks his father will never accept him if he sees his true face.
Not that I know his dad, but if he doesn’t? Gareth should walk away. Or walk all over him.
But then again, I don’t have the best track record since I never liked my own dad.
“This changes that?” I soften my voice.
“I don’t know.”
“Does it matter if it does?”
“Of course it does.” His voice hardens, jaw clenching tighter. “Without that, I’d have no purpose. I loathe the very idea of it.”
“Then don’t concern yourself. You’ll always have a purpose.”
He blinks at me, wary. “Which is?”
“Being mine, baby.”
A laugh bursts out of him, the sound rich and unrestrained. His dimples deepen, making him look younger, boyish.
“Laugh all you want, but being mine is an important purpose.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious. Your presence is important to me.”
He swallows hard, his throat working as his eyes meet mine. “How important?”
“Important enough that the last three days were hell without you. Are you going to tell me why you disappeared?”
“It’s nothing,” he says, his gaze drifting back to the ceiling.
“What did I say about communication?”
“Do I have to tell you everything?”
“Yes.”
He remains silent, frowning slightly.
“I’m waiting, Gareth,” I say firmly.
After a long pause, he mutters, “If you must know, I didn’t like Yulian throwing himself all over you.”
“Yulian?”
“Yes, Yulian,” he snaps. “The one you went crazy over the first time we met. Did you have a crush on him or something?”
“No. And I didn’t go crazy because of him.”
“Then why?”
“Your actions. It didn’t matter who was on the receiving end—I would’ve acted the same.”
“Countering assault with assault? Seriously?”
“Not something I’m proud of, but we were both equally fucked up. We are both equally fucked up.”
He’s silent for a moment, his fingers absently stroking my arm.
“I’m not offering excuses for your actions, and it’s not like I was that innocent anyway, but I liked that.” He closes his eyes, his lashes fluttering on his cheeks. “From the start, I think I enjoyed how you dominated me and gave me no way out.”
My chest tightens as he turns his head toward me, his forehead almost touching mine.
I think he’s fallen asleep, but then he whispers, “I don’t believe I would’ve ever discovered that part of myself if it weren’t for those encounters, so a part of me is grateful. The other part would still stab you, though.”
A laugh leaves me, but it’s cut short when he opens those green eyes. They’re dark, as if peering into my soul.
“I mean it, Kayde. You betray me or put your dick somewhere it shouldn’t be, I’ll rip your heart out and watch you bleed out. I’m that brand of crazy, so don’t test me.”