Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
But this one? This one pulls on the last string of my sanity.
It’s like being transported to a different headspace. That white room again. All mine.
And his.
A nibble on my ass cheek brings me to the present before he lets my legs down. They fall lifeless, and cool cum trickles down my belly and onto the mattress.
It’s a messy clusterfuck, but I can’t seem to focus on that as I watch him from beneath lowered eyelids.
He hovers on top of me and strokes my hair from my forehead, his touch gentle, and it creeps me the fuck out. Because I kind of like it.
And I shouldn’t like it.
“That’s why you’ll take my cock, baby. Not because you’re forced into it, but because you’re not that proactive but enjoy being ravaged and can come with ass play alone.”
“I don’t. You’re the goddamn gay one,” I say with a weak voice.
He chuckles, the sound low. “Don’t use that as an insult. It’s beneath you, and you’re better than that. If I can accept wanting you and eating your ass, you can accept being attracted to me, too.”
I want to say no, I’m not, but my lids are heavy, so I let them fall.
I think I feel him untying the ropes and cleaning the cum—and blood—off me, but I can’t be bothered to get up.
Just a sec. I just need a power nap and then I’m fucking him up.
In the middle of the haze, I think I feel his fingers stroking my hair as he says, “You should be thanking your lucky stars that I want you, little monster.”
14
GARETH
“Join us!”
I sidestep Niko’s hand as he tries to drag me into the pool.
“What a killjoy.” He narrows his eyes as he floats on his back, kicking Jeremy, who’s chilling in the water by the edge, hyperfocused on his phone. He doesn’t even pay attention to Niko’s attempts to start a fight.
Jeremy’s been more wound up than usual, which I would’ve paid better attention to if I weren’t stuck in my own head.
I walk to Glyn’s side and offer her a glass of her favorite pink grapefruit soda that my brother stocks in the mansion for her.
She beams up at me, her features softening.
Glyn is Killian’s new obsession. His only obsession, really. I’ve never seen anyone have such a deep effect on him—until her.
She’s pretty, I guess. Delicate, round face, long chestnut hair with blonde strands, and those inquisitive eyes.
But that’s not special, not for Kill, anyway. He’s had countless people, of all genders, throwing themselves at him, and he never gave a single one the time of day—especially Cherry.
But Glyn? She’s like a spoiled British princess, minus the pretentiousness, and there’s this innocence about her that someone like Killian would love to break.
I don’t understand it. I prefer being with my match instead.
At the thought of that asshole, I scoff on the inside and sit down, trying not to think about what happened two weeks ago. The pleasurable punishment and mind-blowing sex.
The type of sex that I can’t stop thinking about.
After which he disappeared.
For two weeks.
Sick leave, apparently.
Hope he dies.
“Thanks,” Glyn says with a smile. “You’re so kind.”
“It’s nothing.” I check my watch. “Kill has a late shift, I believe. He might not be here for a while.”
“I know. I just like talking to you.” She grins. “I feel comfortable around you and kind of feel camaraderie because we both have to deal with Kill.”
Right. So she’s that naïve.
I guess I did paint the image that I was struggling to deal with Kill my entire life, but I also tried to kiss her about a week ago just to mess with him, and he nearly killed me.
In my defense, it was right after the initiation night, and I was suicidal.
“But you’ve been dealing with him for longer, so it must’ve been hard.” She gives me a look of pure sympathy.
The girl who’s kind of trapped in a relationship with my brother actually has the capacity to worry about me.
I guess that’s…normal? This is how people who don’t have the constant thoughts of inflicting violence or just chasing after more pain feel.
But I think Glyn’s just that pure, in a way.
“Worry about yourself,” I say with no maliciousness whatsoever, staring at Niko splashing water at Jeremy.
She takes a sip of her soda. “Guess I’m used to it.”
“Used to it or used to the thrill?”
“Both?”
“The thrill eventually goes away, so search for another branch to hold on to.”
She swallows, her throat working up and down. “You know Kill would never let me go.”
“The real question is, are you willing to let him go?”
She falls silent, and I can see the unsettling realizations rushing to her wide eyes, darkening them, even making them glisten with unshed tears.
It’s one of my superpowers, I think—making people face things they never would’ve considered otherwise. I don’t waste it on anyone I don’t care about, and I don’t particularly want to hurt her.