Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147801 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 739(@200wpm)___ 591(@250wpm)___ 493(@300wpm)
“You’re my one and only, baby.”
I’m coming then.
I don’t even feel it.
A choked noise rips out of me as I spray cum all over his abs and the sheets.
But I keep rocking, keep pulling him into me, and he curses and kisses me as he pulses and throbs inside me.
My walls clench around him as he fills me up.
“Mine,” he growls. “You’re only fucking mine.”
“Mine,” I bite his lower lip, then suck it into my mouth.
We kiss until I go numb.
Every inhale fills me with the sharp tang of him as he consumes me, devours me so entirely, that I become part of him.
It’s a heady, dizzying rush, and my whole body hums in delirious bliss. I feel high, not from anything physical, but from the way his entire existence seems to orbit around me.
I’m still dazed as he pulls out of me and then cleans me up with a wet towel.
I lie there, my eyes following his movements. I can’t help but notice that he’s lost weight, his legs look thinner than usual, his face has definitely sunken, and his stubble is longer.
For someone who wanted him in pain, I sure am not enjoying this.
And my chest twists whenever I see his new tattoo.
Something he got even with the possibility of never seeing me again.
Kayden lifts me up and slides me on top of him as he sits against the headboard. His big arms wrap around my waist as my back rests on his chest, my legs between his and my head pressed to his shoulder.
For just a moment in time, it feels like we’re in the apartment, just existing together, being peaceful.
Happy.
But that’s not the case.
And the silence is strained, which is an anomaly, because we often existed perfectly well in silence together.
Before I knew everything.
“You were never her replacement,” his quiet voice carries through the room, sucking all the air out of it.
“What?”
“Declan mentioned telling you that you were her replacement and that made you snap. He was just provoking you. That was never the case.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does, Gareth. You’re entirely different, and I never saw her in you. Are we clear?”
“Even though you married her?”
“Is that what this is about? Marriage? It’s a business transaction in my world.”
“I don’t care. I don’t even believe in the institution, okay?”
Well, I didn’t before. Not sure now.
Now, I’m battling with a disgusting taste at the back of my throat.
“I never intended to rape Yulian,” I whisper.
“What?”
“I think you were so mad that first time we met because you thought I wanted to rape him, and that I was a piece of shit like those men who drugged and raped your wife, but I just wanted to mess with him. I had semen-like lube and wanted to take a picture, and that’s all. I swear.”
“I believe you. You don’t need to explain, Gareth.”
“But I want to. I don’t want you to think I’m like those men.”
“I know you’re not.”
“My grandfather isn’t either.” I stare at the door opposite us. “I talked to him and he said he was there, but he left when Cassandra came along, not knowing what would happen. He stayed quiet afterward because the senator threatened to expose the murder I committed when I was fifteen. Baltimore was the police chief at the time, and he kept evidence and blackmailed Grandpa.”
He stares down at me, the gray similar to a storm. “What happened to that evidence?”
His question catches me by surprise, but I still say, “Grandpa and Dad got rid of it.”
“Good.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“I want to ask why you murdered someone, but I don’t want to push you.”
I tell him about Harper and David and how it felt euphoric. For some reason, I don’t feel like I’ll scare him anymore.
He’s quiet by the end, and I clear my throat. “So what I mean about this whole thing is, you should blame me, not Grandpa. He was blackmailed to stay silent because of me.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t?”
“Not anymore, no. Even if he did it, I wouldn’t hurt him.”
“Why not?”
“I told you. Because he’s your grandfather and I won’t hurt someone you love.”
But you’re okay hurting yourself?
I pause at that thought, my eyes widening. I don’t want him to hurt someone I love and that’s him, because he seems tired and is not taking proper care of himself.
And I do love him.
Fuck. I think?
It’s love if I can’t live without him and can feel this peaceful in his arms, right?
The realization crashes into me harder than a hurricane. The reason I nearly lost my goddamn mind isn’t because I’m so obsessed with him that I can’t tolerate someone else having him. It’s because I was hurt, so deeply, thinking he never reciprocated the magnitude of the feelings I have for him.
Feelings I had for the first time in my life, and they scared me because I was giving up control to him.