Total pages in book: 190
Estimated words: 185785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 929(@200wpm)___ 743(@250wpm)___ 619(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 185785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 929(@200wpm)___ 743(@250wpm)___ 619(@300wpm)
“No,” I state, looking at him coldly, not letting his shouting make me cower.
It’s just words. It’s just loud words. He’s nothing to me. He’s nobody. Just a guy yelling at me.
I straighten as tall as I can get. “You can go. I’m not going anywhere.”
He glares for a second and then starts talking fast. “I fucked up! Yeah. Again. A-fuckin-gain, Vi.” He shakes his head and puts the heels of his hands over his eyes, exhaling a big sigh as he sits on the bed. “I don’t… I don’t know how to get out of it this time, Vi. I really…” His shoulders shake.
He’s crying. He’s also blatantly refusing the signs that are right in front of him. Susanna is here. The locks are changed. I’ve just told him I’m not going with him.
I need away from him. I need Susanna to hurry.
“Give me one sec, I’ve had to pee really bad since I left my parents place.”
“What were you doing there?”
“Just a family dinner, one sec.”
He stands up as I back up. I head into the bathroom, heart pounding in my chest as I shut that door and immediately fetch my phone from my pocket.
While I’m on the toilet, I quickly text Killian and Susanna the exact same message.
Killian, he’s here. I just got home & he’s here and crying and saying he fucked up and wants us to leave town. He doesn’t know I’m messaging you or that you are looking for him. CCing Susanna, my bff. Hurry and get here ASAP Susanna! Need u”
Killian replies immediately.
Killian: Where are you? Still in your apt?
Me: Yes, in the bathroom. He’s in a bad way. He’s making me nervous.
My fingers are trembling.
Susanna: OMW. Pulling up in 2. Pepper spray. Stun gun!
Killian: I’ll be there soon. Sending someone to help who will be there in 5 or less.
I lollygag as best as I can in there but two or three minutes later hear Ray calling my name.
I flush the toilet and wash my hands. I take a big breath, staring at my reflection.
Killian is sending someone. Who and why, I don’t know but don’t have the presence of mind to ponder it for long. My mind is all over the place. But Susanna is on her way. I just have to get through the next few minutes.
I wish I’d left the apartment and texted them from the elevator. I should’ve gotten into my car and left.
But this is my place. My home, not his.
I erase the text string, take a big breath, straighten up, and step out.
He’s in the hallway in front of the door. His eyes are on me and angry, arms folded across his chest.
“You wanna explain to me why my clothes aren’t in the bedroom?”
I blow out a breath.
He advances and I back up into the bathroom again. He continues to advance, anger in his eyes and I nearly fall into the bathtub backing up.
“I wanted to talk to you about that when you got back, about the fact that I think we should split –”
“No!” he shouts in my face. “No. Fuck, no. You changed the locks, to keep me out? Please tell me there’s another explanation for why the key doesn’t work and that cunt is staying here.”
“Cunt?”
God, I’m too far from the stun gun and the kitchen knives and the pepper spray and I have a really, really bad feeling about this. I also want to punch him out for calling Susanna a c-word.
“How dare you call her that!”
“You’re. My. Life. God damn it.” He rubs his eyes. His hands are trembling. “I came back for you. It was a huge risk to come back here, but I did it for you. We gotta get the fuck outta Dodge and we’re gonna start over. It’s gonna be good, babe, I have a plan. Just gimme this chance to start fresh, and –”
I feel the sourness rise. I have trouble even finding words. Do I tell him he’s made my love shrivel to nothing; he’s made me feel like I’m nothing? Do I even need to say how hopeless I’ve been feeling, how he made me not only stop loving him, but he also made me have trouble even loving myself?
I shake my head and sit on the edge of the tub.
“I come home to this?” He looks at me like he doesn’t know me. “I come home to my shit packed? I can’t believe you’re givin’ up on me. You promised.”
“Honestly, Ray, I gave up months ago. And you made promises too. You broke yours way before I broke mine.”
His expression drops and he looks devastated. Maybe he’s actually listening to me for once.
I continue. “I figured you had this great new job and it’d be a good time for us to split because you had all these opportunities and all we do is fight, and…”