Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 22096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 74(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 74(@300wpm)
She smiles softly. “Nicknames are funny. Papa used to call me Maisy Daisy.”
“I like that one,” I tell her. I relax a little more now that I see she’s not eager to leave. I’m not gonna bring up Tristan. No real point seeing as she’ll be marrying me instead. I’ll be the one taking care of my pearl, saving her farm, raising her brothers, and giving her endless orgasms every night in my bed. Yeah, her future is set and it’s lookin’ mighty good.
“Do you still get into fights?” She asks but there’s no judgment in her tone, only curiosity.
“Those stopped after…” My voice trails off. I hadn’t planned on telling her all this. Not the type to want sympathy or pity or any of that bullshit. But for some reason, I want her to see. Want her to know the truth about why I am who I am. “They stopped after my older brother went away to Asheville.”
She tilts her head. She’s studying me again and while I don’t want most people peering too deep, she’s the one person I’ll let in. I’ll open up to her even if it damn near kills me. Because she’s worth it. “He’s the reason you fought all the time?”
“He’s autistic. Got an anxiety disorder too.” I blow out a breath. “I started fighting back when schools weren’t like they are now. Didn’t try to help him. They just called him special and stuck him in a dark classroom in the basement.”
Sadness flickers across her expression. “That must have been so hard for both of you.”
“I was the only one who could calm him during a meltdown. Teachers would call me out of class to be with him. The other kids enjoyed riling him up just to see him like that. Thought it was funny or some shit. So I started kicking ass and making people afraid of me. Helped cut down on it.”
I look down and realize my fingers are clenched into a fist. The kids that went to school with us are grown. Most of them are real good people now and several of them have even apologized for what they did. They didn’t know better. None of us knew how to help him back then. But that don’t mean the scars aren’t lingering on my heart. “Wasn’t better at home. Mama ran away because she got tired of watching Daddy torment him. So then I was the one left, his only defense at school and home. I never let him lay a hand on my brother though.” I got scars but he doesn’t and that’s all that matters.
“Got him evaluated when he got grown and Daddy didn’t have a say over him anymore. They threw a whole bunch of letters at me then said he was autistic.” I cried harder that day than I have in my whole life. All those years, listening to other people call him broken when I knew deep down that he wasn’t. He was just different and finally, I had a word to explain it. Finally, I could get him the help he needed.
She scoots across the couch onto the middle cushion. Her fingers wrap around mine, her touch soothing a part of me that’s still raw and angry and desperate to help the little boy my brother was.
“I didn’t ship him off,” I quickly explain. I don’t want her thinking that he got the diagnosis and I just sent him away. “I wanted him to stay. Tried to make it safe for him but a ranch is a dangerous place and one day there was an accident.”
I squeeze my eyes closed. I’ve gotten into hundreds of fights, taken dozens of beatings, and never once been scared. But I was scared that day. Thought my brother wasn’t going to make it.
I open my eyes and clear my throat. “He’s OK now, but I realized this isn’t the place for him. Got him in a residential facility where they know how to help him. He works part-time doing vacuum repairs in a shop where the owners understand autism and support him. He’s got friends and a cat now. He’s happy.”
I pause then and chuckle. “He gives me a new vacuum every Christmas. Probably have ten or more of them now. I still miss him every day though.”
Maybe that’s the hardest part of all. He’s the only one who’s ever understood me and for a long time, I was the only one that understood him. It was me and Adam against the world, the two of us fighting to survive. A bond like that isn’t ever broken, no matter the time or distance.
“I’d bet anything he loves you like crazy.” She cups my face. “All his life, you’ve been his champion, his warrior.”
Her nearness, her touch, it’s making my pants get tight. I could say it’s just physical but it’s more than that. The simple acceptance in her gaze has me wrapping my arms around her. Of all the things I expected tonight, her compassion wasn’t one of them.