Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 80699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
He keeps his gaze on the window. I look in that direction and realize with the darkness outside and the light from in the room, he can’t even see anything out there. He’s not looking out; he’s watching my reflection.
I stand from the table. “I guess it’s a good thing I don’t believe in karma.”
His hand clamps on my forearm before I can walk away. “Listen, son. She seems like a decent girl. She’s young and that plays to your advantage. She doesn’t have the life experiences that may have hardened her heart like an older woman would. If she does somehow show you mercy by forgiving your ass, you better spend the rest of your life grateful, and proving to her every day that she made the right choice.”
I nod my head, knowing I’ll do just that.
“This isn’t something that just goes away,” he continues. “This will be in the back of her mind every fucking day of her life if she chooses to stay. Every time you head out on a mission. Each time you get tied up some place or stopped by a train, her mind will go back to that night. She will wonder if you’re telling the truth. She may forgive you, but your penance will last your lifetime. You need to make sure you’re willing to pay it.” He rises from the chair and slowly pushes it back under the table.
“I’d give my life if it meant the last words I heard were that she forgives me.”
“Atta boy,” he says with a sharp slap on my back before leaving me standing, stunned in the middle of the kitchen. I know without a doubt if she leaves, she’ll be taking my heart with her. If it happens, I just hope she takes the whole thing, so I won’t feel the pain of her absence.
Chapter 37
Khloe
“Are you going to try to make me leave with you?” I ask my case manager who, not surprisingly, waited until the morning of my eighteenth birthday to return my phone call.
“I can’t make you do anything, Khloe,” she says with barely hidden exasperation. “You’re eighteen, but even if you weren’t, it’s not like you did anything you were supposed to before you became an adult.”
I sigh loudly. Same shit, different conversation. “If you hate your job so much why do you continue to do it?”
I hear her shift her weight in her office chair. “Sorry,” she says softly and I can hear some sincerity in her voice. “I’m being rude, and I shouldn’t take it out on you.”
“I just want to know what my options are,” I say again. It is the only reason I called her.
“It’s too much to go over on the phone. I have a bunch of packets I can get to you, applications and such. Can we meet for lunch?”
I contemplate it for a long minute before I concede. “Want to meet at the diner on Sycamore, say one o’clock?” I offer.
“That’d be great, Khloe. See you then.”
I text Emmalyn to see if she can take me to the diner in a bit. She replies that she has a ton of supplies to get for the guys’ return tonight and for my ‘non-birthday party.'
I put on my nicest jeans and a little makeup as a shield against the world, and Kid if I happen to see him.
An hour later Emmalyn knocks on my door. I answer with a smile that I know doesn’t reach my eyes. The heartache from a few days ago combined with the all-too-real dream about my parents is almost too much to bear.
“You think this lady can help you?” she asks as we make our way to the front door.
“I don’t know, but at this point, it’s the only hope I have of doing something with my life. I can’t do it alone.”
She stops me with a hand on my arm before I can open the door. “You never have to do anything alone, Khloe. There are people here, including myself, that will do anything within our power to help you.”
“I have to get out of this clubhouse, Em.”
She shakes her head slightly. “You don’t.”
“Yes, I do,” I say softly as we climb down the front steps.
I stop in my tracks when I see Kid in the driver’s seat of the SUV parked in front.
“Emmalyn,” I moan in frustration.
“He’s the only member here. Rose has Doc doing all sorts of things today. Diego won’t let me leave alone while he’s out of town,” she adds.
I’m well aware of the rule. We’ve been driven every time we’ve left the clubhouse. I don’t know why I thought today would be any different.
“I made him swear not to bother you.”
I sigh and climb in the SUV, focusing on buckling my seatbelt rather than acknowledging him in the vehicle.