Total pages in book: 173
Estimated words: 174632 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 873(@200wpm)___ 699(@250wpm)___ 582(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 174632 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 873(@200wpm)___ 699(@250wpm)___ 582(@300wpm)
“Like what?”
“I don’t know what to do. I feel so out of control. Like I’m not safe. I have nightmares . . . I can’t sleep . . . eating makes me feel sick. It’s safer to hide. Why won’t you let me hide?” Maggie wailed.
“Because I don’t want to lose you.” He drew her back, cupping her face and wiping away her tears. “Because you’re hurting yourself and that’s unacceptable.”
He reached over for a tissue, cleaning her up and wiping her nose.
“I’m so tired, Ian.”
“Then let me help you,” he said, knowing she didn’t mean just physically. “If you need me to take over, I will. If you need me as your man, your Dom, your Daddy. I’m here for you. Just don’t push me away anymore.”
“Do you love me?”
He sighed. “I had planned on telling you myself. Jameson always has to one-up me.”
She just stared at him.
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life. I would do anything for you. Hurt anyone. Protect you with my life. You’re my sweet girl and I can’t live without you. So please let me help you.”
For what felt like forever, she just studied him.
“I love you too, Ian.” She sniffled. “And I . . . I’ll try. I’ll try to let you help.”
He gathered her close again. She tucked her face into his chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to withdraw from you. It was just easier.”
“I get it, Little girl. But I can’t let you hurt yourself.”
“I didn’t mean to. Really.”
She didn’t want to hurt herself or them. It had just seemed easier to draw into herself. To try not to feel anything.
“What does all this mean for the future?” With Jameson? With her leaving soon?
“We can work all that out later. We just need to focus on you at the moment.”
“Ian, where is Uncle Willy?” she asked.
She’d asked about Uncle Willy when she first got home, but Ian and Jack had brushed away her questions, saying he was busy. But now that she had a clearer head, she realized that something was wrong.
Ian’s face closed up.
Monkeyballs.
“I’ll tell you soon, all right? Right now, we need to look after you.”
Did he not think she could handle what he had to say? Maybe she couldn’t, though.
“You need to eat some lunch. Then have a shower and brush your teeth. I’ll do your hair.”
“So what you’re saying is that I look like crap.”
His face grew serious rather than smile like she’d thought he might. He cupped her chin. “You are beautiful no matter what. But it’s time we looked after you. All right?”
“Okay.” She glanced over at the food Jameson made. A whole wheat sandwich with cheese and lettuce. Cut-up fruit. Slices of cheese. And plain yogurt. “This food sucks.”
“Yeah. It kind of does. But you need some healthy food.”
“I want your pancakes.”
“I’ll make you pancakes tomorrow for breakfast.”
“With chocolate chips?”
“Yep.”
“And smiley faces.”
“Pfft. Are they even proper pancakes if they don’t have smiley faces made with chocolate chips in them?”
“I don’t think so.” She grasped his hand. “Thanks, Ian. For not giving up on me. For being here. For loving me.”
“You never have to thank me for that.”
She nodded. “Where’s Ziggy?”
He opened a drawer and pulled him out. Poor Ziggy, she’d been neglecting him too. She hugged him tight. “No one locks Ziggy away!”
“He wasn’t locked away, Little Misfit. He seemed to be upsetting you.”
“Ziggy could never upset me.” She could feel her Little side pulling at her. It would be easy to sink into Little headspace and let Ian take over for a while.
“Um, Ian . . . could I . . .”
“You never have to ask. I only ever want to give you what you need.”
“Thanks, Daddy.”
He ran his finger over her trembling lips and she nipped it lightly.
“Now, time to eat.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t wants this food. It’s yuk.”
“Oh, look, your naughty girl notebook is also here. Let’s add a few things, shall we?”
She snatched it out of his hand. “I can’t believe that was in there this whole time!” If she’d known, she could have gotten rid of it.
Monkeyballs.
“I think it might be best if we keep it hidden somewhere,” Ian told her.
Okay, so obviously, she’d looked a tad bloodthirsty.
“Are any of Ziggy’s clothes in there? I want to get him dressed. He’s nakies.”
“Well, he’ll have to stay nakies for a bit longer, as we’ve got to take care of you first.”
“Poor Ziggy, he’s so neglected. I’ve been a bad zebra mama.”
“I’m sure Ziggy understands, Little girl. Now, open up for the airplane.”
He swooped a spoonful of yogurt down and plop! It landed on the bed covers.
A surprised giggle left her. And she glanced up to find him watching her with affection and relief.
She owed it to him, to Jack, and to herself to push past this. “I’m all right, Ian.”