Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 37273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 186(@200wpm)___ 149(@250wpm)___ 124(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 37273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 186(@200wpm)___ 149(@250wpm)___ 124(@300wpm)
She didn’t flinch, didn’t make a sound of outrage, but she did look sad, and Joey hated that fucking look on her. He didn’t want her to be sad about what he did, or about him in general. He wanted her to be a survivor, be strong and feisty like he knew she was, and just be with him. That might never happen, especially now, but he wasn’t going to give up.
“Why are you so adamant on leaving? I know you’re smart enough to realize the danger.”
She looked down at his chest. He was only wearing a pair of lounge pants and nothing else, and he knew that it was starting to affect her because her breathing became harsher. She looked back at his face, and then sighed as if in resignation. “It isn’t because I’m stupid and don’t think something won’t happen. Let’s be honest here, Joey. But I know that what you want isn’t something I can give you, and that is part of the reason I want to go. I know if I stay I won’t be able to keep my emotions in check, even if I should be focusing on my life being at risk.” She swallowed and then licked her lips.
“You think I haven’t noticed that you are trying to keep me away?”
She shrugged.
“Take away everything else, Marra, everything aside from you and me and right now—”
“I don’t want this life where I am looking over my shoulder because of the man I am with, and being with you would ensure that.”
“I would never let anyone or anything hurt you, and you being here right now is proof of that.”
“A relationship, or even a one-night stand wouldn’t do us any good. Your life doesn’t have room for a woman that wants your time for more than a few hours a week between the sheets. I am not an easy lay, Joey, a notch on your bedpost.” He saw her search his face with her gaze. “And my life doesn’t have room for a man that could crush me in more than one way.”
“I’d never hurt you. I’d never let anyone hurt you, Marra,” he said again, harder this time. God forbid anyone that even tried to touch her, because their fate would be the same as when he put a bullet through the skull of his enemies. “I’d kill anyone that thought they could touch you.”
Her breathing shifted to something deeper, faster, and he knew that she was becoming aroused.
“I know you wouldn’t hurt me, Joey. And I know you think me staying here with you keeps me safe. But I could go, just leave far away from here.”
“I can’t let you leave. I won’t.” He felt like he had traveled to some alternate world. His emotions didn’t feel like his. “Just be honest with me.” He knew she wanted to argue about him refusing to let her go until all of this was safe for her, but she didn’t comment on it. “What’s holding you back?”
“I don’t have anything holding me back.” She swallowed on that last word, and he knew she wasn’t being honest.
“Something is holding you back,” he said harshly. He cupped her face with his other hand, reveled in the smoothness of her skin, and felt like the world was crashing down around him. It was because of Marra Santos that he felt like he cared about something that didn’t have to do with the “family”. Joey might not have liked the idea of a woman as his, but after the last year, and especially with Marra’s life nearly being taken right in front of him, things had shifted drastically.
“You’re holding me back, Joey.” She stared into his eyes, and he felt his heart plummet to his stomach. God, did this woman know the power she held over him. Fuck, did he realize the power she held over him?
“I do want you, but I can’t be with you. And I know if I let myself feel these emotions they might ruin me.” She whispered the words, and although she spoke them, she also didn’t try to pull away. “You could ruin me, Joey, and it wouldn’t take anything at all. I don’t want to be a casualty in this lifestyle, and I can’t be selfish in thinking that nothing would happen if I didn’t give myself to you.”
He could tell she was trying to rationalize everything to him.
“I never thanked you for saving my life, but I am grateful you were there.” She lifted her hands and placed them on his chest. “I owe you my life, but I don’t ever let anyone get close. I never have, and starting now, with a man that holds so much power doesn’t seem like the right move.”
If she really knew him, knew more than just the rumors she heard about what he did, then she would have known he wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of what he wanted.