Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 145634 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 728(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145634 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 728(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 485(@300wpm)
There’s a tension between us. I expected it. We’re still feeling each other out, I guess. We haven’t talked about anything, but I don’t really plan on it. I want her, so I’m taking her. It’s that simple.
I don’t like that she’s so uneasy though. It takes her a moment before she’s able to answer me. “Do you still deal?”
I hate her question. Do I still deal? Some. I’m not the dealer though. I’m the supplier. And it’s pot, for fuck's sake. I look out of the window, regretting the awkward tension between us and then drive through the intersection, the quiet air becoming thick.
I lick my lips and pull into the parking lot of Mariani’s Bistro. It’s one of my places of business. It’s close to my place, and it’s a nice restaurant which should impress her.
She clears her throat uncomfortably and barely gets out, “Sorry. I shouldn’t ask.”
No, she shouldn’t. The fewer questions, the better. There’s no reason for her to know anything other than I’ll provide for her. I’ll keep her safe.
But she doesn’t really know either of those things. She’s gotta realize I’m well off by now. The suits and car shoulda given that away. Maybe that’s why she’s asking.
“I just heard-” she starts to say, but then she shuts her mouth.
“What’s that, Sweetheart?”
“I heard you run the town?”
It’s a fucking stupid expression. I don’t agree with it either. I’ve got money and I like investing, so I’ve got my hands in plenty of pockets. Tony likes that particular saying though.
“Fucking Tony,” I mutter, staring away from her and out the driver’s side window.
“Look, last night-”
“Last night was everything I’ve wanted since you left me.” I can hear her looking for any excuse to bail. I see it in her eyes. But I’m not going to let her walk away so easily this time. It’s not happening.
“You don’t like that I deal, do you?” I’m blunt. I’ll get straight to the point and put this shit to bed.
“No, I don’t.”
“Is that the only thing?” I ask her.
She takes in a steady breath and nods her head. It fucking sucks, 'cause it’s not like this is a job I can just walk away from.
“It pays the bills. It’s not really illegal.”
“It is really illegal,” she says straight faced.
Selling pot isn’t so bad. It’s legal in some states. This is a college town, and I keep my business as clean as possible. But some of the shit I’ve done has definitely crossed the line. I rub the back of my neck sighing before turning back to her. Just let it be sweetheart. I’ll take care of her; that’s what matters.
The look on her face tells me it’s not going to be that easy though.
I shrug. She has no right to judge me. She doesn’t know what a shit hand I’ve been dealt. I turn the car off and the radio dies, leaving the car filled with silence.
“I don’t lose any sleep over it.” That’s a lie. The second I say it, I regret it. She crosses her arms over her chest, gripping onto her forearms and looking out of the window. It’s dark and cold outside. Her head falls against the window gently, and her breath fogs up the glass.
She’s completely closed off now, and I know it’s 'cause I was short with her.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I never say sorry, but seeing her hurt and disappointed fucking kills me. Anyone else? I’d say fuck 'em. But it’s Emma. “I just don’t want you to get involved with this. You don’t need to know this shit.”
“But I want to be involved with you,” she says so quietly I almost don’t hear. “I remember how I fell for you, Derek. It’s scaring me. I don’t want to fall for someone who’s...” she doesn’t finish that sentence and it fucking shreds me.
Who’s a criminal.
Who’s no good for her.
“I’m not a knight in shining armor, Emma. But I’m not gonna hurt you. And I won’t let anyone else hurt you either.” I can promise her that. She looks away, and is quiet for a moment. The chill of the night starts creeping into the car, but I’m not starting it again. I’m taking her out, whether she likes it or not.
“Have you ever killed anyone?” Emma asks softly. Like she’s afraid of the answer. She turns her head to the side, peeking at me from the corner of her eye.
I don’t answer her. I don’t want to. When she knew me, I was just a peddler. I needed money for Ma, and I did shit I wasn’t proud of. When Emma left me, I only got deeper and deeper into this life. I had nothing else going for me.
And in this line of business, death happens.
When you have a name that people recognize, some pricks are going to challenge you. It doesn’t happen anymore, but it did in the past.