Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74608 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74608 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Luke smiled at Dominic and nodded, clearly charmed by Dominic’s straightforwardness, confidence, and perceived honesty.
Sam felt sick to his stomach.
The rest of the date went smoothly. Sam could see the tension in Luke’s shoulders drain away, the slight wariness in his eyes disappear, replaced by genuine smiles. He was holding back a little, and while he clearly wasn’t falling head over heels for Dominic, Luke’s eyes kept lingering appreciatively on Dominic’s face, hands, and wide shoulders under his suit. Sam couldn’t even blame the guy: Luke would have to be dead or straight to not appreciate Dominic’s physique and charisma.
After the dinner, the pair took a short walk, and Dominic actually bought Luke flowers. Sam scoffed—how cringeworthy was that?—but Luke clearly didn’t share his opinion, beaming up at Dominic and looking utterly charmed. Right. Luke was a hopeless romantic.
It was a relief when Dominic finally dropped Luke off at his place.
But Sam’s relief didn’t last long.
Dominic’s handler hacked into the security cameras of Luke’s building; therefore Sam had a front row view of Dominic’s eyes as he kissed Luke goodnight. They were blank and detached. When Dominic ended the brief kiss, he smiled at Luke, his eyes full of affection and desire.
Sam staggered into the nearest bathroom and washed his face with cold water, trying to suppress the violent urge to throw up. He was shaking, his stomach churning with unease and disgust.
At that moment, looking at his own pale face in the mirror, he understood what Dominic had meant when he had told him that the job of an MI6 agent wasn’t for everyone. Dominic had warned him, but Sam had dismissed it.
Looking back, he felt very young and very foolish. He wasn’t like Dominic. He didn’t have the stomach to lie and fool innocent people even for the Queen and Country. He couldn’t imagine himself using other people for the sake of a mission. He couldn’t imagine himself in Dominic’s shoes, forced to touch, kiss, and sleep with someone he wasn’t attracted to. He didn’t know how Dominic did it. It must have required incredible mental strength—mental strength Sam clearly didn’t have if just watching Dominic’s mission made him feel sick.
Well, he supposed it was better that he found out now rather than later.
Sam straightened, took a deep breath, and walked out of the bathroom, trying to ignore the feeling of loss as he headed to the HR department.
Chapter 21
Dominic returned home a few hours after he dropped Luke off at his place. While the evening had been successful as far as the mission was concerned, he’d had to make a detour to his favorite pub in an attempt to get rid of the bad taste in his mouth.
He had liked Luke Whitford. He seemed like a nice bloke with some daddy issues, who badly wanted a committed relationship and family. Using that against Luke had made Dominic feel like the worst scum on Earth.
Drinking hadn’t erased the feeling—it never did—but it dimmed it a little. He didn’t get sloshed—he knew when to stop before his faculties were compromised—so he was no more than tipsy when he got home.
There was light in the living room.
That made him frown. He hadn’t expected Sammy to wait up for him. It was well after midnight. Maybe Sam had fallen asleep watching the telly. He hoped Sammy was asleep. He didn’t want to see him, not tonight. Or rather, he wanted to see him a bit too much for comfort, soak up his warm affection as the greedy, selfish bastard he was and pretend for a while that he was the decent person Sammy believed him to be.
And that was precisely why he shouldn’t see Sam now.
Keeping in mind that the boy could be asleep, Dominic unlocked the door and entered the house as quietly as he could.
Sammy wasn’t asleep.
He was sitting on the couch, clearly dressed to go. The bag with his things was at his feet.
Dominic took it all in, feeling completely sober all of a sudden. “I thought you’d be asleep,” he heard himself say, his chest tight. Goddammit, he knew he shouldn’t have fucked Sam—he knew it would make things weird—but he hadn’t thought Sammy would actually leave because of that. Maybe acting like last night never happened had been a mistake. Maybe they should have talked it out and made sure they were on the same page.
“I was at headquarters,” Sam said, his green eyes blank. “I watched your mission.”
Dominic opened his mouth and closed it without saying anything. His shoulders tensed up when he realized what this was about.
“And what did you think?” he said at last, his voice calm, as if his heart wasn’t thudding hard in his chest... with something that felt a lot like fear. It was probably messed up, but he was pretty much addicted to the way Sammy looked at him—as though he was Sammy’s world—and he didn’t know what he would do if it changed to disgust and disappointment.