Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 58487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
Ryan sighed. “I told you: I’m not freaking out.” At least not about what Jamie thought.
“Right,” Jamie said, his tone skeptical. “Then what’s the problem? You’ve been a little weird since…”
“Since I helped you out?”
Jamie let out a laugh. “Yeah. Since you helped me out. If you aren’t freaking out, why have you been looking at me oddly?”
“I have?” Ryan said, stroking Jamie’s arms after a freezing blast of wind made Jamie shiver.
“You have.”
Ryan almost laughed. He could hardly tell Jamie that when he looked at him, he kept remembering either his creepy fantasies or the way Jamie’s face looked after he’d come. Sometimes he hated his brain. All week, he had tried to cast those strange thoughts out of his mind, but as someone said, once something was thought, it couldn’t be un-thought. It wasn’t as though he suddenly wanted Jamie or wanted him to be a woman. He didn’t. But the fact that the mere gender change could make him see Jamie in a different way made him vaguely uncomfortable. It made him question himself, his relationship with Hannah, and his relationship with Jamie.
But it was all hypothetical. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if he suddenly felt differently about Hannah. He loved her. She was everything he wanted in a woman. He had no reason to question the depth of their relationship. Especially since he had far more important things to worry about.
Ryan looked over Jamie’s shoulder at the city lights flaring against the clouds. He had thought all week about Jamie’s situation, but no matter how desperately he had racked his brain for a solution, he’d come to the same unsatisfying, frustrating conclusion every time: there was no solution. He was the reason Jamie was miserable, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Jamie would continue to be miserable—until he finally got tired and left.
The truth of it sliced through him, and Ryan’s arms tightened around Jamie. Something churned in his gut, a primal fear the likes of which he’d never felt before. He tried to suppress the insane urge to grab Jamie and lock him up somewhere safe. Somewhere only he had access to.
Yeah. Right. That wasn’t creepy at all.
“Yeah, I’m freaking out, mate,” he admitted quietly, burying his face in Jamie’s hair. “Just not about what you think.” He mouthed Jamie’s nape, trailed his lips to the soft skin of Jamie’s cheek. Jamie shuddered and melted against him, turning his face into the touch.
Ryan went still. Damn, Jamie’s reaction to such an innocent touch was incredible. Despite knowing that Jamie wanted him that way—hell, despite having had Jamie come all over his hand a week ago—it still took him aback how needy and putty-like Jamie was in his hands. It was weird but flattering, it felt wrong and yet pushed those strange, twisted buttons he hadn’t even known he had.
He kissed the corner of Jamie’s mouth. A small whine left Jamie’s trembling lips.
Bloody hell.
He turned Jamie around and looked at him.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Jamie looked…He looked as if he’d just been snogged thoroughly: his pupils blown, pale cheeks flushed, and lips parted. The longing, hungry look he gave Ryan was downright shameless and obscene—the kind of look that belonged on a whore’s face before she spread her legs.
Ryan stared.
Jamie closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“I—” Jamie said before opening his eyes and glaring at Ryan. “Why did you do it?”
That was a good question.
Behind them, the door opened. “Supper is ready, boys,” Sandra said.
“We’re coming,” Ryan said, putting a hand on Jamie’s back and steering him inside.
Jamie shot him another withering glare.
“You look like Tristan when you’re pissed off,” Ryan said, frowning. “It’s freaky.”
Jamie stomped away.
Sandra raised her eyebrows. “Trouble in paradise?”
Ryan sighed, raking his hand through his hair. “Yeah, you could say that.”
His sister took his arm, her gray eyes filled with curiosity as she looked up at him. “You wanna talk about it?”
He smiled at her crookedly. “Not really.” It didn’t make any sense even in his head. He wasn’t sure why he had touched Jamie that way after Jamie explicitly asked him not to a week ago. It was cruel and completely unnecessary.
What was wrong with him? Had he been subconsciously trying to manipulate Jamie? The thought made Ryan deeply uncomfortable. He would like to think he was better than that, but considering his earlier creepy thoughts about locking Jamie up, he actually wasn’t sure he was. Christ.
“He’s right to be mad at me,” Ryan said. “I’ll have to do some major grovelling this time before he takes me back.”
Laughing, Sandra shook her head. “You two are like an old married couple without the benefits of sex.”
Ryan averted his gaze.
Chapter 12
“Is there a reason why you’re hiding in my bedroom? Sandra is looking for you everywhere.”
At the sound of Tristan’s voice, James opened his eyes and straightened up from his slouch in the chair. He shrugged. “I wanted some quiet.”