Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 76586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“Maybe he moved to a new hotel and he’s running late,” Jenna suggests weakly.
I shake my head adamantly. “No. He’s using again. I know the signs. Not showing up for something important, refusing to answer the phone. I’m not surprised really… not after yesterday.”
Jenna nods but she wasn’t here to witness it. She only heard about it second hand from me, but after Jett had left—the taste of butter croissants still on my tongue—Shane had shown up wanting to walk Felicity to school.
I wasn’t cool with him just showing up unannounced like that, but with great effort I put Felicity above those harsh feelings, knowing she’d love to have her dad walk with her to school.
Except, after I swallowed my ire and told Shane it was fine to take her, he didn’t seem to want to go.
He wanted to sit around, eat my croissants and talk about how I’d moved on with Jett. It was wholly inappropriate to talk to me about that, much less in front of Felicity. I told Felicity to go brush her teeth and grab her school bag, and in that minute and a half she was gone, I laid into Shane.
Not screaming crazy, because I didn’t want Felicity to see me that way even if I felt it, but I made sure that there was absolute clarity about the situation.
He and I were no more.
I had moved on a long time ago, and he needed to do the same.
I reiterated he was welcome to have a place in Felicity’s life but he was not welcome to come and go around my house as he pleased.
Shane was apologetic. He said I was right and that he was being intrusive.
He said all the right things, and deep down… I knew he’d been crushed by what I’d said. That no matter how many years had elapsed since we were together, or the fact he killed any love I ever had for him, or that I’ve been clear since the day I separated from him that it was over for good, he still had some expectation.
Shane still thought… there was a chance for us?
I could see it in his eyes. The disappointment, some regret, and most of all, I saw weakness there.
No. Not surprised at all that he’s not here. Checked out of his hotel. Left his daughter behind.
“He’s definitely using again,” I say softly, yet it’s a commanding statement to my sister. I know Shane. I know what I’m talking about.
Tapping my phone against my chin thoughtfully, I turn to look at Felicity.
Still watching out the window for her dad.
I dread doing it, but I need to break the news to her that he’s not coming.
But first, I need to text Jett and let him know our plans tonight aren’t going to happen. I’m going to have one very sad little girl on my hands.
♦
“Can we just go home?” Felicity whines, tipping her head back dramatically. Her gaze skips right past me and to the gym ceiling which is nothing but shadows punctuated by sparkling lights from the disco ball in the center.
I talked her into letting me bring her to this dance even though she was adamantly opposed to it from the first suggestion. This came on the heels of me telling her that her father wasn’t coming and then trying to come up with some vague reason why. The best I could come up with was that “something must have come up” and I was sure that he would contact us later.
She burst into tears and I held her on the couch while she lamented that her father didn’t love her anymore. Her memories of our past with Shane may not be clear, but she remembers what abandonment feels like. She used to cry for him two years ago, saying he didn’t love her because he wasn’t around.
Jenna and I spent a long time comforting her, reassuring her, and then finally I told her we needed to go to the dance anyway. She had friends there and she had been excited to see them all with their pretty dresses. That made her a little interested in my idea, and I finally got her agreement. Before she could change her mind, I jetted off to my room to change. I opted for a black suit with palazzo-styled pants and a cropped jacket with large buttons up the front. I wasn’t necessarily trying for a masculine “daddy” type of look, but I certainly wasn’t going to wear a dress when I wanted Felicity and her dress to shine.
We’ve only been here at the school’s gym for fifteen minutes and she’s already dissatisfied with the arrangement. I’m the only mom here and that doesn’t make her unique, it makes her weird. When we arrived, she was asked by her friends where her daddy was, and she mumbled something about him being sick and her mom came.