Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
She sniffles, but she doesn't speak, and I hold her just a little tighter, feeling a pinch of relief when she clings to me a little more. I don't doubt that she does hate me as much as she claimed she did in the conference room, and there will always be a part of me that hates myself no matter how this entire situation turns out.
But at least she can also see me as someone to depend on. I have no idea how long it will last. This could work out with Eli coming home, which is the best possible outcome, and she could still hate me. Honestly, as much as it pains me to think that she could hate me forever for the mistakes I've made, the safety of my son is the only thing that matters.
"It doesn't matter that at the time I thought he was Damien's son. If I had thought for a second that what I was doing was putting a child in danger, I never would've risked it," I continue to explain. "That's not how we operate. Working for your father made me realize just how important it was to get kids away from men like him. It's insanity to raise kids in such a toxic and criminal environment. Rarely do they view the world differently from how they were raised. It's how generation after generation keeps growing. It would've been the same for Eli. Damien would've turned him into his protégé."
"If I could go back to him—"
"You can't," I rush out. "No matter what Damien might promise you about how this could all work out, he will never keep his promise. He doesn't have it in him to forgive anyone, and it wouldn't matter that you were practically abducted."
I pull back some and curl my finger under her tear-soaked chin so she's looking at me.
"If you're thinking of taking off and going back to him to protect Eli, it won't work. It'll only get you killed. Tell me you know that," I urge.
"I think if I gave myself back to him, he'd spare Eli. Maybe he'll let you have him."
My heart aches for her reasoning, but there's no bargaining with the devil where anyone comes out on top.
"It won't work," I tell her, selfishly unwilling to even consider watching her go back to such an evil man. "If he doesn't have Eli, he doesn't have power over you. The man is evil, not stupid. Even if he vowed it, he never keeps his promise. He didn't kill me that day out of spite toward your father. He can't be trusted."
"I'll live a life of torture and hatred if it means—"
"I would too," I quickly agree, cutting off her words because I don't want to think about the future pain the man might cause her. What he's done to her already is enough to last a lifetime. "Know that I would lay down my own life to save that of our son, Peach. No questions asked. If that's what Damien wanted, I'd gladly expose my neck for his sword."
I mean every fucking word.
"Maybe if I—"
"No," I say, stopping her again.
I know she wants to bargain. She wants to be able to barter with the man, but there's no way this ends other than with Damien's death.
"I can handle whatever he has planned for me, and it was working. Eli was safe, and it didn't matter how many slaps to the face it took."
I pull her tighter to my chest, resting my chin on the top of her head as she sobs.
I can't guarantee Eli is safe, especially not after finding two shallow graves with dead children in them. The man is capable of anything, and it's possible that our son was gone the day after his last visit with her, as much as it pains me to consider it.
She wasn't keeping him safe because Damien doesn't work that way. It's his way a hundred percent of the time. If Ivan Reese ordered me to be maimed but left alive, he would've slit my throat that night. I'm only alive because Ivan wanted me dead, and I can't help but think that the pain Aspen would feel for losing her son is the reason Damien would do it. He's poison, a cancer that digs in deep and eats away at the very soul of a person, and the way he does that is by hurting the people they love and sparing the ones they hate. Whatever causes the most pain and heartache is what he picks, and that is incredibly bad news for Eli.
"The teams are going back and looking at the places they've searched. They want to see if they missed anything," I explain.
"Graves you mean. They're looking for more graves."
I wish I could tell her that isn't accurate, but lying to her won’t help the situation.