Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79749 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
I know there's no chance of returning to Damien and lying about what happened. There's no way to make this right, and I know there was probably never a solution that put me back in the house and kept Eli safe. If it wasn't going to be these men setting this into motion, then it would've been something else. Damien has grown increasingly volatile since he killed my father. I don't know if it's stress from being responsible for the entire organization, if it's more than he bargained for, if he's power hungry, or if he is genuinely just losing his shit.
Given the chance, I think Damien would save hurting Eli until he knows I can witness it, because his real issues are with me and they always have been. As much as I didn't want to marry him, I think he never liked the idea of his marriage to me being a condition of his taking over the business. He doesn't like to feel as if he's on the losing side of a negotiation, no matter how much joy he has taken in abusing and controlling me. He has to know that hurting my son would hurt much worse than any of the physical pain he's able to cause me.
"Luke," I whisper before correcting myself. "Jericho."
"I'm not Luke, and you don't get to call me Jericho," he says, not bothering to pull his gaze from the window where it has been locked for what seems like hours.
"Your name was a lie," I say, feeling a hint of the betrayal I felt years ago when he confessed that he was an undercover federal agent put in place to take my father's organization down. "What else did you lie to me about?"
Slowly, his head turns, eyes latching on to me, and I don't know that his attention with the anger in his eyes is any better than sitting here and being ignored.
"You really want to talk about lies, Peach?"
I cross my arms over my chest.
"You were dead," I snap. "I thought you were dead."
"Do you wish that I still was?"
All the wind leaves my sails. "What? No. Of course not."
Once again, he swipes his hands over his face before pinching the bridge of his nose. I know from history that it's his way of trying to organize his thoughts so he doesn't say something he'll regret. It's something I always commended him for. So many people in my father's organization had quick tempers and even shorter fuses, including Damien. Jericho was one of the few I've met who took a moment to consider what was going to come out of their mouths, and I guess him not being one of the bad guys explains it.
"Was everything between us a lie?" I ask when he remains silent.
"What do you think?"
"I don't know what to think. The man who Damien took away that evening was never this mean to me."
"I'm no longer that man."
"Clearly, " I mutter.
"Are you the same woman you were eight years ago?"
This question makes me pause because as much as I'd like to think I haven't changed, I've experienced a little too much of life and hardship to stay the same.
"I've been forged in fire," I say, doing my best to straighten my spine, although I don't feel stronger.
I'm still completely dependent on others. My life is in his hands, and the life of my son, our son, rests on his shoulders, but I can see that isn't a task he takes lightly.
"That makes two of us," he says, pulling his eyes from me once again as if he can't stand the sight of me.
I don't know if he's doing it to hurt me, but that doesn't stop the ache that it leaves behind. I just know it's going to be a permanent mark on my soul.
No matter how much his being around again makes me happy or hurts me, it doesn't matter. I'm not a lucky person. Luck has never been on my side. We got caught together when we were younger, and the only luck that stemmed from that is Damien didn't kill him. I'm eternally grateful for that, but this isn't a fairy tale. He isn't a white knight coming to my rescue. He's a man coated in scars and pain, much like I am, and I'm toxic to everything I touch. My bloodline alone severs any goodwill life may have to offer me. Penance for the sins committed around me, the things I've benefited from on the backs of others, are all I'll ever have. I can't foresee a life where I don't suffer. I accepted that a very long time ago, even before this man started working for my father. I knew that my fortune came at a cost, but I saw no way out. The only option I had, removing myself from this world, stopped being an option when I had Eli, despite knowing he would've been better off being born into literally any other family than ours.