Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107262 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107262 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
“Would you like a drink?” he offers, but I look him in his eyes. The intensity that stares back begs me to simply let go. It promises that he’ll catch me.
“No… let me just say it,” I start and take in a deep breath.
He straightens, the cords in his neck tightening as he swallows. “Say whatever you’d like, and then I have something to say as well.”
“Dylan, I’m sorry,” I begin. “Today, I was embarrassed, but it wasn’t you. It was me. I’ve spent so much of these past months either angry, or scared, or… well, lust-drunk. And when Tamara walked in, it felt like everything I’d been telling myself—that as long as no one saw, it didn’t matter what the rumors were at work, not while I was doing so well on my own and they could surely see that—it all… disappeared in a blink, and I had to come to quick terms with being seen as the one thing I’ve fought against…”
I truly thought my biggest fear in all this was that I’d be seen as a gold-digging climber who is using Dylan, but when I dug a little deeper, there was an even uglier truth.
I swallow thickly and say, “I’m not good enough for any of this. I’m faking it in so many ways, acting like I have a clue when sometimes, I don’t know what I’m doing. That’s why I’ve been worried about everyone else. At some point, they’ll figure out that I’m an imposter pretending to be confident. Because the truth is, I wasn’t good enough to get an internship on my own—Evan had to help me—then I couldn’t get a job on my own. You took pity on me. I wasn’t good enough to keep Evan from straying…” Dylan growls at that one, but I don’t let it stop me. My emotions get the best of me as every insecurity heats my body. “And now, I’m not good enough for a man like you.”
“I’m the one not good enough for you,” he corrects harshly. “But I’m trying to be. So fucking hard. I’m working my ass off to override a lifetime of hustle, of grabbing what I want with both hands and stubbornly refusing to let go, because I want you to choose me, not be forced to stay with me because you have no other option.”
I stare at him, his words sinking in along with my own confession.
“You’re not allowed to say you’re not good enough. I get to decide that, and you are everything to me,” he confesses, and my entire world slows. The walls are closing in. “I get to love who I want to love, Darling. So don’t you dare think you’re not good enough for me when I want you so desperately.”
I blink, awestruck. “We sound like a pair of woe-is-me shitshows,” I say, hiding my feelings behind sarcasm.
Dylan inclines his head. “Perhaps. Or like two people willing to grow and change and improve, for us and for another who’s worth the growing pains. As long as you want me, I want you,” he says.
“I do want you,” I say earnestly. “I choose you, over and over, Dylan.”
He exhales heavily, a small shudder working through him as the words settle into his body, heart, and soul.
“Good. That’s the only thing that matters. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I mean it, Raven,” he stresses.
“What did you want to say?” I dare to ask him, not wanting to think about the office and exhausted from my own back and forth and racing thoughts.
He takes a moment, locking eyes with me and searching for something before he starts. “I need to ask you, Raven. What is it you want out of this? Out of your life?”
“I want it all,” I tell him evenly. “I want to be respected for my accomplishments on their own, to be with you, to have you wrapped around my finger even as I’m helpless under your command.” I offer him a small smile with that, and he huffs a laugh, breaking the tension that had gathered. My heart beats harder as I confess, “I want to be your partner, your darling, your confidant. I want everything. I want to be yours.”
Dylan dips his chin just a fraction of an inch, nodding along with me. “I understand,” he says quietly, “because I want everything you just listed.”
“I want to be loved,” I tell him, my heart going wild at daring to use such a word. But I have to say it aloud.
Dylan stiffens at the loaded word, and fear trickles through me, so I try to take it back, swallow it down until he’s ready to hear it. “I… look, if I was too quick to say it, I’m sorry, I just—”
I get to my feet, regretting laying it all out there, but Dylan leaps up with me, pulling me in close. “Stay,” he whispers in my ear. “Don’t go. I want that too.”