Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 123877 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 496(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123877 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 496(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
Julian nodded, unsure what to do with that answer and again lowered his head to Beckett’s shoulder and reached for the remote. “Can we turn the television back on?”
“You don’t like that answer?” Beckett asked, his cheek resting against Julian’s head.
“No, it’s fine,” Julian said, stopping short of actually turning the television back on. They lay there several long seconds. Maybe Julian had been wrong. He couldn’t attract the right men back into his bed.
Beckett knocked his shoulder again, lifting Julian’s head up as Beckett moved to his side, edging Julian down beside him until Julian had no choice but to look Beckett in the eyes. “When I looked at you in the shower, your scars weren’t the first thing I saw. I wasn’t lying when I said you’re beautiful, Julian. You’re desirable. If I didn’t know what you’d been through, I would have taken it as an invitation and been all over you.”
The sincerity in Beckett’s eyes eased Julian’s heart, but he still rolled his eyes for dramatic effect. “You and I both know you aren’t the kind of guy to jump someone. I’d have to do a whole lot more to coerce you into the shower with me.”
“I’m not going to force myself on anyone, but I’ve been known to work pretty hard at talking someone into sex,” Beckett admitted, his warm palm coming to Julian’s cheek, caressing over his beard.
Julian gave a small shake of his head at the simplicity of Beckett’s words. He was so fucking endearing. “I don’t believe you.”
“You bring out something in me that I haven’t experienced before.” Beckett caressed the skin on Julian’s neck with the tips of his fingers before tracking back up to trace his lips. The intimate touch had Julian’s cock taking notice as currents of arousal rushed through his veins. Beckett’s eyes held his as he spoke. “You matter to me more than I matter to myself. I looked away from you because I had such a primal reaction I didn’t want to scare you. Only when I looked back up did I notice the scars.” Those sensual fingers rose to Julian’s cheek, where he’d spent time and a considerable amount of money to laser the scars away. “I’ve seen the lines on your cheek. I knew something had happened, but the ones on your thigh and chest sent rage through me I haven’t experienced in a long time.”
The glimpses of who Beckett insisted he was compared to the man Julian had gotten to know showed the true depth of his character. Julian nodded and let Beckett trace the scars on his cheek, the gesture healing the wounds from the outside in. He had to look away from the intense stare. The honesty he found there was much too alluring to allow him to think properly.
“I’m not going to hurt you. Not ever. I’ve never been that kind of man, but I haven’t always considered other people first. You inspire something inside me that makes me want to take care of you. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”
Julian connected with those words. Beckett accepted him for who he was, whoever that was, something he was still trying to figure out since the assault. Everything he’d ever believed or enjoyed had been tainted since that night. Had anyone ever appreciated him for anything more than being on his knees, swallowing cock? He didn’t think so. Which took his thoughts in a different direction.
Yes, Julian was attracted to Beckett. Clearly very much so, but could he have sex with Beckett? That he didn’t know. Not only did Julian have to deal with all his own mental shit, but he also wasn’t certain he could keep from hurting Beckett emotionally. A deep sigh of uncertainty resonated as he lifted his gaze back to Beckett’s.
“Your face is so expressive, but I have no idea what you’re thinking,” Beckett said tenderly, running his fingers through Julian’s hair.
Beckett didn’t seem to mind being his temptation or his salvation. Even though Julian knew he shouldn’t, his willpower crumbled in the face of Beckett’s allure. Julian eagerly pushed his hand under the hem of Beckett’s T-shirt, his palm grazing across the warm skin of Beckett’s tight stomach muscles. The gentle touch made everything inside him feel right. Julian craved closer contact as he slid his palm higher, touching every part of Beckett he could reach.
Over the top of his T-shirt, Beckett’s hand came to rest on his, stopping his trek upward. “What are you doing? I don’t expect…”
“I don’t know how far this can go, but I need you to kiss me.” The words rushed out of him as he lifted his mouth. Beckett eased off his hand even as the confused look on his face remained. It was the most natural thing in the world to capture Beckett’s mouth with his. Julian lifted himself, thrusting his tongue forward while pushing at the T-shirt until Beckett was forced to break from the kiss and sit up enough to let Julian pull it over his head.