It Pains Me (Betrayal #5) Read Online Penelope Sky

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Angst, Contemporary, Crime, Dark Tags Authors: Series: Betrayal Series by Penelope Sky
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Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 67905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
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The jealousy I felt listening to him was suddenly gone. Now all I felt was pity.

“Cancer.”

Too fucking young.

“It was terminal, and instead of wasting away in a hospital feeling like shit all the time, she decided to live whatever time she had left to the fullest. Once she told me, it all made sense. She had a zest for life because she had so little of it left.” He didn’t get emotional as he reached this part of the story. He seemed to withdraw further, feel less. “Maybe I never would have noticed her if things had been different. Maybe I wouldn’t have pursued her so desperately. Maybe the only way I would have ever wanted her was under those awful circumstances. Who knows.”

I swallowed. “That’s horrible.”

“She thought telling me the truth would finally get rid of me. Because it made no sense to grow attached to a woman who would be dead so soon. To watch the light leave her eyes until they were as black as the dark side of the moon. It was pointless and senseless. A smarter man would have walked away then. But not me.”

“You’re brave.” Bravest man I’d ever heard of. Anyone else would have turned away to protect themselves from the pain. But he stayed by her side and felt the pain with her. He watched her die and carried on afterward.

“Her goal was to fit an entire lifetime in six weeks. To cram it all together like putting all her belongings into one suitcase. She wanted to eat escargot in Paris. To see the animals on safari in Tanzania. To die a married woman.”

My eyes started to water. “And you gave all that to her.”

After a long stare, he gave a slight nod. “I did.”

I wanted to speak, but the tears in my eyes would streak down my cheeks if I tried.

“I will carry that scar for the rest of my life—but I regret nothing.”

I’d already witnessed the depth of his character and the selflessness he exhibited toward others, but now I saw an even deeper layer to his heart. He wore the skull diamond to show his power and cruelty, but I saw a man who only hurt men who deserved it. I saw a man stronger and braver than the rest of us. “I think if you gave love another chance, you wouldn’t regret that either.”

His hard stare remained locked on mine, his thoughts a mystery behind his callous hardness. “I watched her take her last breath. Felt her hand go limp when she was gone. Listened to the beep when she flatlined. The loss was indescribable, and I only knew her for two months. Imagine how it would feel to lose the woman you loved for thirty-five years? Who gave you a son who became a man. A girl who turned into a woman with a zero-tolerance policy for bullshit. Imagine that.”

“Imagine loving someone you never knew. Imagine the love of your life punching you square in the face. Imagine the altar you prayed to every night crumbling right before your eyes. The unthinkable happened to me, but I’m going to try again. You make me want to try, Theo. You were the bravest man who ever lived for Shayla. Please be brave for me.” Hearing him love someone else made me want him more, not less. I wanted to have his children. I wanted to hold his hand in mine and watch him take his last breath. I wanted it to hurt like hell because that would mean it was real.

He severed the contact between our souls and looked away. “I told you it was one of the reasons. There are more.”

“What are they?” I was determined to get past them.

“I’m the Skull King.” He looked at me again. “A profession that could get me and everyone I love killed.”

“And what if I don’t care?”

“You cared when Bolton’s men broke in to your apartment. That was staged, and you were still beside yourself with terror.”

His words felt like a slap across the face.

“So scared you took Bolton back without thinking twice about it.”

“I’m not weak⁠—”

“I never said you were. I just want you to understand that a life with me would be infinitely more dangerous. I broke things off between us because Bolton came into my home with a bomb strapped to his chest. Maybe it was a bluff, and maybe it wasn’t. But that’s just a Tuesday night for me.”

I did my best to keep a straight face, but I was disturbed down to my core. “Nothing ever happened when I was with Bolton.”

“Because the Brotherhood is a secret society. They’re not a supermarket open to the public. You have to know the right people just to contact them. And the members are nameless and unknown. That’s why they’re good assassins. You can’t see them coming if you don’t know who the fuck they are. With me, it’s a very different story. Everyone knows the Skull Kings—and their king. When we first met, you knew exactly who I was because of the ring I wear on my left hand. And you aren’t even in the game.”



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