Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 67905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67905 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 226(@300wpm)
“If a chef goes there, then you know it’s pretty damn good.”
He took enormous bites of his sandwich, handling it with a single hand because he was the size of a tree trunk. He ate his food much quicker than I did, scarfing it down in a couple bites.
Just watching him eat was a turn-on. “How’s your shoulder?”
He wiped his mouth with a napkin, catching the spot of sauce that stained the corner of his mouth. “It’s fine.”
“Have you been able to move it normally?”
“I lifted today.”
“Isn’t that a little soon?”
“Time is a luxury I don’t have.”
“Not lifting for a couple weeks isn’t going to decrease your muscle size.”
“It will. Not significantly. But I can’t afford any loss. Muscle like this keeps me alive.”
“How so?”
“Bigger muscle means more distance between the tip of a dagger and its target. It’s more padding against a bullet. It stabilizes my bones so they don’t break under pressure. I’ve been in a couple accidents, and the other guys in the vehicle were significantly more hurt than I was. It’s about life and death to me.”
“And sex has nothing to do with it?” I asked incredulously.
He stared at me like he didn’t understand the question.
“Because you know…you’re super sexy.”
A subtle smirk moved over his lips. “That’s not the priority.”
I wrapped up the other half of my sandwich because I couldn’t finish it all. Might have it as a snack later in the day. “Thank you for lunch.”
He sat with his knees apart, his arms flat on the armrests, his size almost too big for the chair.
Just being in the same room with him, breathing the same air, gave me a thrill of excitement…and a haze of peace. It was invisible to the eye but heavy on the heart. I wanted more than the distance between us. I wanted to pull him so close his soul was inside mine. He was so close but always out of reach. I’d been hopeless until our conversation last night, but I knew he’d left the door open for me. “Theo?”
His eyes were already on me, so he continued to stare.
“I would give anything to have another chance with you.” I should take it slow, let the relationship happen on its own, but there had been times in the past when I didn’t tell him how I felt when I felt it. Those were moments I still regretted. “I don’t expect that to happen anytime soon. But I just want you to know how much I want you.” There was more, but I didn’t want to scare him off.
He had no reaction to that, his stare the same.
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You don’t.”
What I wouldn’t give to crawl into his lap that very moment. To feel those tree-trunk arms wrap around me and pull me close.
“But you’re right. I need time.”
Disappointment swept through me when I shouldn’t feel it. I should just be grateful that the door was open, that he didn’t outright reject me like he did in the office of his restaurant.
“I saw what you did.”
I tilted my head slightly, not understanding what he said. He provided no context, so I waited for more information.
“The smoke was thick and I only saw shadows, but I watched you knock that gun out of his hand. I probably would have a worse scar if it weren’t for you. Might even be dead.” He cocked his head as he examined me like an adversary rather than…whatever we were. “And I heard what you said to him.”
I’d rather die here than be with you. Yes, I remembered. I’d rather have suffocated in the smoke or felt the roof crush me into pieces. “I used to believe that love never died. It just grew or lessened in intensity. But I can honestly say I have no love for him whatsoever. If he died tomorrow, I wouldn’t be at his funeral.” I felt horrible for saying that. Maybe my feelings were justified. Maybe they were sociopathic. But that was how I felt.
Theo continued to stare at me like I might say something else.
But there was nothing more to the story. “I felt that way the first time he struck me. It was instant.” Like a gunshot. Some women rationalized it to deal with it, but I never did that. Hatred streamed from my heart quicker than bullets left barrels. I was ashamed to carry his last name on my license and passport. I was ashamed to call him my husband. Ashamed that he was my family, even if it was by marriage and not blood.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“I deserve it. I should have listened to you.” I should have seen the red flags flapping in the breeze. I should have seen the signs he’d laid out for me like a fucking puzzle to solve. I should have trusted Theo’s intuition.