Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 71911 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71911 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 360(@200wpm)___ 288(@250wpm)___ 240(@300wpm)
“I’m not sure what hurts more.” I kept my voice steady, but deep inside, there was a dam of tears ready to explode. “The fact that you want to fuck other people…or the fact that you don’t care about another man fucking me.”
“It’s not that I don’t care—”
“If you’re encouraging me to do it, then you don’t care.”
“I’d rather not think about it, to be honest. And I’m sure you don’t want to think about it either.”
“I admit our sex life isn’t what it used to be, but I’m happy to try new things, go to therapy, work on our relationship, do whatever is necessary for the sake of this marriage. I don’t think inviting other people into it is the solution. I don’t understand where this is coming from because last time we spoke, you said you wanted to start a family. Who says they want to start a family, then a week later asks to fuck other people?”
“Why does it have to be mutually exclusive?” he asked calmly. “Just because I fuck some other woman doesn’t mean you aren’t the woman I love with my whole heart. Doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be the mother of my children. Everything I feel for you is still true.”
I shook my head because I was appalled by his reasoning. “I’m not going to raise your kids while you’re off fucking some woman you met in a bar. If you have that much free time, then you don’t need to be gone so long.”
He sank into the chair, looking defeated. “Astrid, forget I said anything.”
“This is not something I can forget, Bolton. It’s not something I can forgive either.” I shoved my chair back until it knocked over, and I stormed from the table. I walked to the entryway and slipped on the flats I’d left there. It had started to rain, so I grabbed my coat and prepared to yank the door so hard it flew off its hinges.
Bolton placed his body in front of it. “You need to calm down.”
“Get out of my way, or I’ll move you.”
His blue eyes watched me with a look of hurt. “If you need some space, I’ll leave.”
“So you can pick up some pretty girl in a bar?” I asked viciously.
He leaned against the door with his weight, so there was no way I’d get past him. “Astrid, forget what I said. It was just a suggestion, and it’s fine if you don’t like it. The last thing I want is to lose you.” He said it with such sincerity, such depth with his blue eyes. “It’s the very last thing I want.”
I was still angry, so fucking angry, but his words sheathed some of that anger.
He continued to watch me as the air left my balloon of rage, his eyes shifting back and forth.
I turned away from the door, kicked off my flats, and headed upstairs.
He didn’t follow me.
Days passed. Even though he was home, we didn’t spend time together.
I was too angry.
He gave me my space. We didn’t share meals together. We didn’t sit on the couch together. I slept in the primary suite, and he took a guest room. Time went by, and slowly, the boiling anger turned to a simmer.
I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew we had to talk about it.
He sat in his study working on his laptop, the hearth warm with a fire that lit up the dark room. For a hit man, he did a lot of paperwork, and I didn’t understand what he did on that computer.
I walked inside, and it took him a moment to notice me.
He lifted his gaze and stared at me.
I stared back.
When I didn’t yell at him, he slowly closed the lid of his laptop to give me his full attention.
I sat in one of the armchairs.
He continued to stare at me as he waited for me to say something.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.
He came around the desk and sat in the other armchair, his chin propped on his closed knuckles, his elbow on the armrest. He stared at the side of my face, his skin illuminated by the flames.
“Let’s try it.”
His eyebrows slowly rose up his face in surprise. “You made it very clear how opposed you are to this.”
“I know.” I was still opposed to it. It still hurt. “But I love you.” I couldn’t look at him as I said it. Our relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be, but I knew I loved him. I’d loved him the moment we met. We fell hard and fast, a whirlwind that didn’t stop until we’d tied the knot. I was afraid if I denied his request, he would just cheat on me and that would hurt a lot more. “If this is what you want.”