Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 45284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
The notion wraps me in a warm blanket of protection, meaning I never have to be afraid, never have to doubt myself. Not when I’ve got my man backing me up.
“What happened?” he asks.
I risk a glance at him. His jaw is tight, his icy eyes glinting as if he’s on the verge of erupting into mayhem at the mention of me experiencing hell, even a small slice.
“When I was fourteen, I didn’t have many friends, but I had some. Looking back, I’m not sure if they were really friends or if they were just the in-crowd. It seems silly to care about that now, but it mattered back then. Being invited to their parties, being able to hang out with them.”
“I remember the feeling,” he says.
“You do?”
He laughs gruffly. I’m learning his different laughs, a whole arsenal of them to express a range of emotions, and this one is like he’s holding back so much else he wants to say, a savage shiver in the noise.
“Don’t sound so surprised. I was young once, too. I remember the draw of wanting to be cool, popular, all that crap.”
Any time he mentions his age—I was young once, too—I want to yell at him and tell him it doesn’t matter. Our relative ages mean nothing to me. Or it’s more than that. Our ages mean he’s mature and experienced and will be able to support me, help guide us on our shared journey through life.
Okay, self… cool it. Big time. I’m rushing ahead again.
“These so-called friends were losing their virginity,” I mutter, glancing at the clock.
I need to leave to help Dad soon. I’m not going to let him down, and part of me wants to get the heck out of here quickly, anyway, so I don’t have to hang around after sharing this story. On the street, a couple walks by, hand in hand. Kayden and I both pause to watch them.
The man has silver in his hair, like Kayden, and the woman looks around my age. The man smiles down at her as he wraps his arm over her shoulder, hugging her close as they walk.
Kayden and I look at each other. He’s got an echo of the man’s smile, as we silently acknowledge… Hey, this is possible. There are examples out there of couples with age gaps who are happy, committed, in love.
There I go again. Getting way ahead of myself.
“I didn’t want to have sex with some random guy, but these friends convinced me.”
Kayden’s fists clench against his thighs, a shiver moving through him. He’s wearing a polo T-shirt that lets me see his muscles swelling, like he’s ready for action. It reminds me of when he stood up for me. He won’t let anything bad happen to me. Ever.
“One of these so-called friends arranged a date for me with a guy in school. I was so freaking nervous. I should’ve listened to my instincts, but they were all making fun of me and… anyway, I went.”
“Hmm,” Kayden says, his teeth gritted.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He tries to smirk it away, but he can’t hide the flames licking at his mood, can’t mask his fiery reaction.
“Just thinking of you with somebody else…”
“You don’t like it?”
My heart beats faster.
“No,” he says, looking at me steadily, giving nothing away about the depth of this feeling, this jealousy.
Is it bad I kind of like it he’s getting jealous?
“What happened next?” he asks.
“We went to his bedroom and…”
The memory makes it difficult to go on, but I push through, forcing away the uncertainty. With Kayden here to support me, I feel like I can face it.
“He started getting really pushy. I told him no, and he got pissed. He said he was going to spread rumors about me in school. He was going to destroy my life. I ran from his house in tears.”
“He didn’t stop when you told him no?”
“Not right away,” I murmur, “but then I pushed him off. That’s when he turned nasty.”
“That lowlife,” Kayden growls. “That rat. Where is he now?”
“This is the thing,” I whisper. “He’s in jail for… for not stopping with other girls. It turns out this was something he did often. It turns out my so-called friend even knew about this but set me up with him, anyway. Ever since then, the idea of losing my virginity has always made me freak.”
“He’s lucky he’s in jail…”
Kayden trails off, looking at me like he’s realized what I said.
“Wait, so you’ve never…”
I have to turn away from him.
“No,” I whisper. “I’m still a virgin. That’s why I got so mad at you… why I tried to change the subject. They bullied me for being a virgin and… well, I guess stuff like that sticks.”
“A virgin,” he repeats, his voice dark and intense.
I can’t even look at him. Is that anger in his voice?