Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 45284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45284 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 226(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
“No,” I say. “Never think that.”
“But something’s changed with you. I can tell. The fact you’re here talking about this is enough to prove that.”
“Maybe.”
He smiles ironically. “Maybe? We’ve had so many chances to talk about this, but you’ve never wanted to. Now… you’re here. That tells me there’s something special about this woman.”
I can’t help but answer his smile. “Yeah, there’s something special. There’s no doubt about that. The first time I saw her…”
I knew she would be mine forever. I knew I owned her. I knew no other man would ever touch her unless he wants to answer to me.
“I was interested,” I say, holding back the full force of my need. “I never thought I would be interested in any woman, but there she was. It was like… hell, Connor, it was like magic.”
In the old days, back when banter kept us sane and alive, he might’ve ribbed me for this. Instead, he listens and nods.
“I didn’t expect her to just guess all this stuff about me.”
“Maybe she really cares,” Connor says. “It hasn’t been a long time, clearly, but the fact she’s interested, it means a lot. I thank my stars every day I’ve got a woman willing to put up with my crap and support me.”
I glance at the LEGO set, feeling another pang in my chest, as if there’s an invisible hook through my heart yelling at me to make this happen. To build a life one brick at a time, just like that carriage, and ride it into the future.
“How did you leave things?” Connor asks.
“I shut down and got out as quickly as I could.”
Even now, I want to get out of here. Talking about this stuff isn’t easy.
“So, why are you here?”
“Because of what you said. Something has changed. I want to make this work. I want to try again.”
“So, try,” Connor says fiercely. “I’ve never seen you like this before. It’s enough to make me certain you deserve to give this a shot.”
I take a sip of the black coffee, letting it burn down my throat.
“I’m not sure I can,” I say after a pause.
I think about her bringing up all that stuff again, the lingering aftershocks of the tours—the stuff I’ve spent years pushing down. No, not pushing down. Dealing with in my own way.
“Tell me about her,” Connor says.
“Luna?” I pause, my chest flooding with a warm sense of belonging. “She’s an artist, a tattooist. She’s got some real passion for it. It’s a joy to listen to her speak about it. She’s fierce in her own way, but shy too. She’s funny and charismatic and clever and maternal and beautiful and kind and… Why are you looking at me like that?”
Connor grins. “It’s a miracle, is all. I never thought you’d feel this way about a woman. You owe it to yourself to try.”
“What about the fact she’s half my age?”
Connor can’t hide the flicker across his expression, the tightening in his mouth.
“Yeah,” I go on. “She’s twenty.”
“Why does that matter?”
“Don’t bullshit me, bro. I can tell you think it’s weird.”
“It’s not what I expected,” he says, “but you’ll get no judgement from me. I just want to see you happy. Plus, I know you. You’re not some perv creeping on younger women. You’ve never been that guy. If you’re interested in her, I know her age isn’t the reason. She just happens to be twenty.”
I grin, though there’s still darkness clinging to me, churning in my gut.
“You’re a mind reader. Yeah, that’s it. It’s her I’m interested in. Not her age.”
“So, what are you going to do? You need a plan of attack.”
I want to tell him I’m instantly going to get my act together, going to return to her, and tell her I shouldn’t have stormed out. The truth is, I’m not sure if I’m capable of seeing her again. I’ll end up letting out more fire, more possessive captivation. Or she’ll say something again… something that sends me running.
“I’m not sure,” I reply, “but thanks for speaking with me. I mean it.”
“I’m always here,” Connor replies. “Whether it’s to work out until we puke or to talk, I’m here.”
I wish I could leave here feeling certain, a mission in mind. When I remember the emotion cracking open in me after what Luna said, I know it’s not that simple. I can’t just share it all. I can’t just crack myself open and let her look around.
I also can’t imagine going the rest of my life without my woman.
CHAPTER
TWELVE
Luna
“Is everything all right?” Dad asks.
He’s sitting across from me in his armchair. Ever since I was a kid, we’ve had a tradition of reading together at least a couple of times a week. We’ll crank up the heating if it’s cold or throw the windows and doors open in the summer and then disappear into our books.