Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Once we’re done, she leans back, wiping her mouth.
“Was I supposed to swallow it?” she asks.
“It was so hot,” I tell her firmly.
She smiles, her face brightening. “Really?”
“It made it so much better…not that I thought it could be.”
She stands as I pull my shorts up, my cock still feeling sensitive, still ready for another round with my woman.
“I guess we sort of got carried away,” she murmurs.
I smirk, head rushing with warmth. “Yeah, I’d say so.”
“Do you really not care that I’m a virgin?” she asks.
Care? I could roar. Of course, I care. I care a lot because it means you’ll only ever belong to me.
It means no other man will ever be able to claim you.
It means I will own you, protect you, in the most real sense, and only me for the rest of our lives.
But that’s too much, too fast.
“No,” I tell her.
She tilts her head. “Are you going back to your cold routine?”
“What do you mean?”
She throws her hands up. “Don’t do this, Silas. You did it last time. We do something intimate, and then you get all cold and distant like you want me to just get lost.”
I grit my teeth, shaking my head.
Strangely, Vanessa comes to my mind, not that she and Lauren are similar. But it’s like a flashback of the ranting, the fear, the shame of it.
“It’s not that,” I snap.
“I feel guilty too, you know,” she says. “I know we can’t do this again. I know it was a mistake.”
“A mistake,” I repeat darkly, the word sickening to me. “Is that what you think?”
“What’s the end point to this?” she snaps, getting more worked up. “What are we even doing?”
I try for a smirk, but I have too much conflict. “Getting a tattoo.”
“No.” She raises her finger. “I won’t do that. I won’t go back to it never happened. It’s not fair.”
“What do you want from me?” I snap. “Maybe I should march up to Julian and tell him what we did. What would that solve?”
“I’m not saying we have to tell Dad.”
Her voice rises, matching the passion in my own…misplaced, turning to rage, even if we know we don’t mean it. Not to each other.
“But you can’t keep messing with my head,” she says.
“I won’t,” I tell her. “But you can’t expect me to….”
To tell you the truth. To tell you I want you forever.
I trail off, knowing there’s no way I can reasonably say something like this.
“To what?” she snaps. “To treat me like Vanessa?”
Her hand rises to cover her mouth the moment the words escape, but it’s too late.
I thought she might’ve seen that stupid scrawl in the drawer when I saw her standing next to it.
I never should’ve kept it.
Lauren strides for the door, shouldering her bags, seemingly forgetting about her table.
“Lauren.”
She opens the door and slams it behind her, disappearing.
I could go after her and explain.
But I’m not sure how I could.
I’ve never told anybody about Vanessa before.
CHAPTER
TEN
Lauren
I walk through the underground parking lot, my footsteps echoing around me, my thoughts clashing with echoes too. Echoes of the argument, of losing my cool….
Of flinging Vanessa’s name in his face.
As I throw the driver’s door open, I think about Silas’ face after I said her name.
It changed completely, crumpling as though in remembered agony, like all the beauty of their relationship was rushing back at him, followed by all the pain of letting her go. Or of her dying. Or whatever happened to his lost love.
In a twisted way, it’s good I said her name and could see his reaction.
Now I know the talk of family and kids and dating apps was just that – talk – and nothing to get over excited about.
But I let it happen again, the steaminess compelling me, making my fantasies come true as I took him in my mouth.
It wasn’t the sheer act but his groaning, his obsession, then our shared finish. Yet, after the physical had passed, I was left asking myself.
Now what? What’s next for us?
Nothing, it seems.
An argument, then goodbye.
I’ve forgotten my table, but I’m not going back for it.
It was wrong, what I did, using something I never should’ve known about as a weapon.
As I drive home, I think about Vanessa, wondering what she was like and how amazing she must’ve been. She was the sort of woman who made a man like Silas take note, to make him stop and care and want more than casual sexual stuff.
My cell phone rings over the Bluetooth speaker as I come to a red light.
I answer it quickly, thinking it might be Silas.
Maybe he’s called because he wants to smooth things over…he wants to tell me I’m the only woman he wants.
“Lauren?” It’s Dad, his voice tight. “Are you still with Silas?”
My heart must break a world record for picking up its pace, my chest banging, and my heart hurting.