Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 234281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1171(@200wpm)___ 937(@250wpm)___ 781(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 234281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1171(@200wpm)___ 937(@250wpm)___ 781(@300wpm)
Because it was all he thought he had.
Until this.
His hands seemed to move involuntarily, and he could only watch rather than feel them shaking, his inability to believe that she was truly here making the whole thing seem like an illusion. He needed truth to be tangible just like Didymus, who despite being one of the Twelve, was also human, and with humanity came doubts that belied his faith.
Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.
The professor's fingers slowly drifted down her spine.
Flesh.
His other hand carefully, and then firmly and tightly, gripped the side of her waist.
Soft, supple, corporeal flesh.
Real.
Put your finger here; see My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Stop doubting and believe.
Because she was here.
Diana worked hard to keep the tears back as his golden eyes lifted to his, and in them she saw all the things that could break her heart.
Disbelief, because she was here.
Bleakness, because she was here.
But also hope, because she was here.
And it was all she could do not to bawl her eyes out and throw her arms around him.
I'm here, my love. I won't ever leave you again. I'll stay with you forever.
But because she knew it was too soon to say such words, she swallowed them all back and instead mustered up a watery smile for the professor. "Hey there." The casual, playful (albeit slightly shaking) tone was meant to tease him into smiling back, but when the professor only stared at her, she reminded herself that it was just his way of protecting himself.
And so she tried again, continuing, "I, umm, just got back from Miami."
Something flickered in his gaze, and she told herself this was a good sign.
"There were things I had to work out..."
The professor was doing his best not to read between the lines, but his brain was too damn stubborn for its own good. Things she had to work out, she said. Wasn't just that polite fucking speak for 'I was looking for a nice, clean excuse to end things?'
His jaw clenched. Fine then. He'd make things real easy for her, rip his own heart out for her, he'd do everything for her, because that was how pathetic he had become.
But when he tried putting her down, her legs tightened around his waist instead. And when he tried untangling her arms around his neck, she leaned back and shook her head. "N-No."
What the fuck?
"I'm not done speaking yet."
He opened his mouth to tell her he already fucking got that she was leaving him, but before he could get one single word out, Diana had pressed a finger against his lips, and he immediately forgot what he had to say. She had never touched him like this, had never initiated contact like this, and it left him stunned, bemused, and...ah, fuck, it left him fucking hopeful.
"Let me speak first." Diana's voice quavered in the end, and while her eyes were still bright with tears, they were also sparkling with...mischief.
The professor inhaled sharply.
Only a soulless bitch could look mischievous when planning to break another guy's heart.
Which meant...
"I just have one last thing to say," Diana promised, "and then a-after that, you can do whatever you want with me—-aah!" One of Matthijs' hands had slid under her to give her bottom a good, hard squeeze, and at her look of astonishment, he smirked against her lips, as if saying, Whatever I want, right?
A laugh escaped her, but it turned halfway into a sob. "Oh, Professor." That smirk told her he understood she was staying. That smirk told her he wasn't going to make her leave anymore. That smirk...was everything.
And suddenly, she could no longer hold the words back.
"Professor—-" Her voice broke. "P-Professor, I love you."
A moment later, and Diana had to bite back a hysterical giggle as the professor responded by dumping her on her feet and practically tearing out of her hold like it was her who had HIV.
"No," Matthijs grated out. "You don't." Because it was one thing for her to come back, but another thing to say that.
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I do."
"No. You just think you feel that, but it's only fucking pity—-"
"I'd have to be the biggest idiot to pity someone as arrogant as you..." And then she only looked at him, letting her doe eyes say the rest.
And since I'm no idiot...
I'm not here because I pity you..
I'm here because I love you.
The professor wanted to slam his head against a wall. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. Even without her saying a single thing, her dark eyes spoke loud and clear, and despite knowing that he was about to commit a mortal sin by letting her stay -
Let me have Heaven here, and Hell can have my soul later.