Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 234281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1171(@200wpm)___ 937(@250wpm)___ 781(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 234281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1171(@200wpm)___ 937(@250wpm)___ 781(@300wpm)
Just three words.
Three words, he said.
Did he really think it would be that easy? That he only had to say those words and all would be forgiven?
Diana: Say it now.
Matthijs: It's something better discussed in person. Please.
She stared at the words he had typed until her tears washed them all away. She was just so tired. So damn tired. She had known that being with a man like him wouldn't be a walk in the park, but this...this was the end.
She could have and probably would have eventually forgiven him for lying about the university's dating policies (or lack thereof). Given enough time, she would've likely learned to accept that he had secrets to keep, and that she could only be patient and wait for him to trust her.
She was so very likely to do all of those things and more because he was the only man she had ever wanted to touch. The only man who could make her feel brave and beautiful. The only man who mattered.
But now...it could never be.
Diana: I'm sorry.
And because she couldn't give herself a chance to weaken, she forced herself to switch her phone off and took a couple of sleeping pills just to survive the night.
Tomorrow, she thought, hoped, and prayed.
Tomorrow, the pain wouldn't hurt as much.
Tomorrow, things would change for the better.
Tomorrow, she would do better at forgetting him.
But when the skies turned from orange to blue, and the moon gave way to warm, golden rays—-
The moment she opened her eyes, all the pain came flooding back, and she realized she had only been fooling herself.
It still hurt.
Nothing had changed.
And she still couldn't forget him.
The tears started to fall as she found herself reaching for her phone.
Three words, he had said.
Could he have said those words last night? And if he had, what then? Was it really going to be just that easy? Saint M, I'm begging you. Help me. Should it really be just that easy?
Come now, let us settle the matter, " says the Lord.
'Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
The tears fell faster. The screen of her iPhone lit up. And she saw his message, with the three words he had promised and she thought he wouldn't give.
Matthijs: I have HIV.
Before
Kahit Maputi Na Ang Buhok Ko by Moira dela Torre
THE PROFESSOR WAS NO coward.
But at the same time, he couldn't make his feet move a damn inch. All he could do was stare, a part of him still trapped in denial, maybe even shock.
She couldn't really be dead.
But the marble headstone in front of him said differently, and his fists clenched as his gaze fell on the letters engraved on them. Letters that spelled the same name that would forever etch a wound in his heart. Letters that didn't fucking allow him to lie to himself.
Letters that sentenced him as a murderer.
The thought annihilated him, smashing all his inner defenses and breaking through the wall he had painstakingly built around his memories. He breathed roughly, battling for control, but it was like going against a powerful tide.
God.
Please.
Fuck.
No.
But it was too late.
And he could no longer stop himself from remembering.
Those last messages she had left in his voice mail.
Please, Matthijs. Please. I'm begging you. Please. I need you. I love you. I know you're still mad. I know what I've done's unforgivable. But please. Please. Please, Matthijs. Please. I just can't take it anymore. I really think I'm going to kill myself this time. I swear I'm not lying. I just can feel myself unraveling, and I'm scared. But I just can't go on like this. I can't face a life without you. So please, Matthijs. Please. If you had ever loved me please. Please. Please. Please come.
The time he had found out what she had done, and the truth had gutted him so fucking bad he hadn't even been able to feel any kind of anger.
He stared at her, unable to believe how blind he had been all these years, to never have seen that she could be this fucking selfish. This stupid. This...bad.
"Please say something." Her voice was soft and trembling, a look of entreaty in her angelic blue eyes.
But it was all a fucking lie.
All these years she had lied to him.
Him, a fucking Nobel Prize winner, a goddamn genius, and this child of nineteen had managed to pull the wool
over his fucking eyes.
"Please, Matthijs."
She went down on her knees, and when he saw her trying to reach for his hands, he reacted instinctively and pulled away with a jerk. A look of hurt flitted over her face, and that she had the fucking gall to feel that way, after what she had done...
He left the couch and stalked towards the door. "You should go." His voice was cold and tight, and his gaze never strayed back to her as he yanked his front door open. He had a feeling if she dared do the same thing again and act like she was the victim—-