Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 124005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 620(@200wpm)___ 496(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 620(@200wpm)___ 496(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
“Oh, my badass best babe, I’m sorry I’m not there to hug you right now.”
“I’d probably get emotional, so it’s better this way.” I’m usually so good at staying in control of my emotions. But not today.
“What are you conflicted about?” she asks.
“I should hate Dallas forever—but he’s making it hard not to like him now,” I whisper.
“Will you tell me what exactly he did?” Shilpa asks.
“When I get home, I promise. I can’t talk about it right now. I feel so raw, like it’s a fresh wound all over again.”
Her smile is soft with understanding. “Our hurts frame how we perceive past events, and you have a lot of feelings about the people you’re seeing tonight.”
“I didn’t realize how hard it would be to deal with Brooklyn again. Like, I knew, but I didn’t know,” I admit.
“She was supposed to be your friend, and she hurt you. If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. You don’t owe anyone—not Dallas, not any of those people you went to school with. You’ve put yourself through so much to prove you could be there this weekend, but it doesn’t matter. You matter.”
“If I back out, I admit defeat. They win by breaking me.”
“Can you be honest with Dallas and tell him why you’re scared?”
I look to the ceiling, overwhelmed by the emotion of it all. “It’s so hard to trust him because of the past, Shilps. And the way he looks at me when he lies about our relationship—I almost believe he’s sincere.”
Her expression grows sad. “Have you ever considered that’s because he is?”
I laugh, but she doesn’t laugh along with me.
“Why else would he be doing this, Hemi? I mean, really and truly think about it. You have the power to make his life a living hell if he fucks you over again. You literally could have let him be suspended or traded earlier this summer. He never says no to anything you throw at him. It can’t all be penance.”
“So you believe what? That he actually wants to be my boyfriend?” If that’s true, it changes everything. The story he told at the old folks’ home can’t have been real, right? My body is on board with that idea, but my head and my heart are dragging their feet like there’s a cliff ahead. The water stops running in the bathroom. “He’s out of the shower; I have to go.”
“Good luck tonight. You’ve got this. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Shilps.” I end the call and exhale a steady breath.
When the bathroom door opens Dallas steps into the room wearing a blue suit with plaid stripes. His tie, hanging loosely around his neck, is the same color as my dress. He looks stupidly delicious, and I’m so screwed. I have to spend the night with him at my side, touching me, being all affectionate and hot and sweet.
He did all of this to prove what? He allowed me to sign him up for endless torture at work and almost never balked—because…why?
I’m not ready for the answer to those questions. Not when my feelings are already on fire, and he looks this good.
“Good goddamn, Wills.” He shakes his head slowly. “That dress was made for you.” He glances at the one lying on the bed. “But you’d look just as good in the other dress, if you’re more comfortable in it.”
“Stop being so nice to me.” I don’t know how to handle his kindness. It makes me itchy.
Dallas frowns and moves into my personal space. His fingertips skim the length of my arms. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He frowns. “You’re lying.”
I evaluate his earnest expression and view him through Shilpa’s new lens. These two small words feel like the biggest risk to trust him with. “I’m nervous.”
He takes my hands in his. “I won’t leave your side, Wilhelmina. Not for a second. Not unless you want me to. I won’t let anyone fuck with you.”
“Do you really mean that?” My heart is in my throat.
His brow furrows. “Of course I mean it. I know it’s hard to have faith in me, but I’m trying my best to prove I’m not a stupid teenager anymore.”
I nod once, letting his words sink in. “Just let me touch up my makeup, and then I’m ready to go.” I need a minute to collect myself. I can’t break down now. I disappear into the bathroom and make a final pass with my mascara wand, reapply my gloss, take a few steadying breaths, and then return.
Dallas is standing in front of the mirror, expertly knotting his tie. I step in and brush his hands away, though it’s clear he can handle this task on his own. “I love the suit,” I say to his chin.
“I love you.” He fingers a lock of my hair. “—in this dress,” he tacks on. “Do you like it?”