Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 98767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 494(@200wpm)___ 395(@250wpm)___ 329(@300wpm)
My stomach knotted into a thousand bows, pulling tight—so tight my womb clenched and a jagged bolt of delightful pain stabbed me. “You want me?”
“So fucking much I can’t see straight.” His nostrils flared. “I’ve been telling myself that it can’t happen. I wish I had more willpower. But then I think about all the firsts you’ve been denied, all that pleasure you’ve had stolen, and it makes me so goddamn angry. I’m blaming my needs on you. I’m fooling myself into thinking I’d be fucking you for you. To show you how sex should be.”
His voice dropped to a shot of merlot or warm whiskey. “I want to give you your first orgasm. I want to see what you look like when you come with my tongue between your legs.”
I jolted.
I physically tightened, spindled, and flinched in his arms. The reaction he left me with was visceral and far too intense to be real.
“Christ, Pim.” He groaned, backing away from me as if it tore him apart. “Then you go and do a fucking thing like that. Your eyes glow, and your skin heats, and you invite me to fuck you even though you’re probably terrified.”
Dragging his hands over his face, he grunted, “I can’t do this anymore. I need this for me. One time. Then it’s over.”
My heart pouted. That wasn’t what I wanted at all. I wanted him physically because for the first time ever, I wanted someone emotionally. He couldn’t give me everything he’d just described and then walk away.
But if that’s what it takes to get him to care for me?
To show him how much I cared without having to find the right words?
Did I truly need a written guarantee we’d be a couple once we’d slept together?
Elder thought he was the one with the power in this. That he had the choice about how and when and often we would be intimate.
That’s what he thinks.
If by some miracle I enjoyed it. If I didn’t have a panic attack and fell into old adopted habits, then he would regret surrendering. I would want him again and again—I would use him to claim everything that had been stolen from me.
He wouldn’t have a choice.
He would owe me regardless of his issues and desires to master me or warnings of obsession.
Elder moved to the door with stiff sharpness as if doing this hurt him more than I would ever know.
My selfishness suddenly made me sick. Once again, I’d only been thinking of myself. Elder had opened up last night. He’d shown me why he had rules and requirements.
If one night could help him with his issues, then who was I to expect more? I wouldn’t make it harder on him by doing the same things that were done to me. I would carry the scars for a lifetime. Elder already had enough to bear.
Unlocking the door, he glanced over his shoulder. “I’ve left a gift for you in the warehouse. Use your pickpocketing skills to find it. You’re not stealing from anyone. It’s meant for you. I’ll come find you when it’s time to leave.”
With a final heated look promising a night I’d never forget, he stalked from the office, leaving me to melt boneless against the table.
Chapter Seventeen
______________________________
Elder
WHAT THE FUCK was that?
How had I gone from talking like a rational human being with my staff to dragging Pim into a locked office and practically forcing her to give me a hand job?
My mind clouded, switching the willingness I’d seen in her gaze to the same wounded girl I’d saved from Alrik. How could I make her touch me after others had done such wrong to her? How could I even think she’d want to touch me?
But she had.
Didn’t she?
Didn’t her fingers wrap on their own accord? Didn’t her breath come faster and her skin flush hotter? Did I mistake the signs of reciprocal lust all because I craved her to the point of obsession?
Fuck, what had I done?
What about my promises the night before of not sleeping with her? What about all the shit I’d told her that I’d had no intention of ever telling?
I was breaking.
Fast.
What was I thinking?
Selix found me stomping back toward Charlton and the other managers. Now I’d decided this yacht was Pim’s, the interior décor and rooms had to be redesigned to suit her. I wanted something lush and opulent but homely and open.
I wanted her to be able to relax, knowing she was protected and safe from everything.
If she ever accepts it, of course.
“Ah, there you are.” Selix crossed his arms, looking ten times saner and more put-together than I felt. “Been looking for you.”
My blood imitated a rally car, zipping and crashing in my veins. I was anxious and about to jump out of my motherfucking skin. The farther I strode from the office where I’d left Pim, the more the dragon on my ribcage became alive and hissing, slithering over my flesh, desperate to return to her and order her to fix the goddamn ache between my legs.