Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75474 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Tears funnel down my face unchecked, my eyes stinging with them. That was my dad, trying to save the world one person at a time.
“I had a bad feeling about Stills. He’d been paying attention to some of the other kids on the block, boy around the corner, Jimmy Nunes.”
An image of little Jimmy comes to me. Shy kid, small.
“…I just happened to be on the stoop having a smoke that day.”
“What happened to Stills?”
Eyes cast down, he exhales. “Told him to get the fuck out of town or I was going to come back and cut his balls off.”
“Tommy?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. I never got a chance to tell you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. You’re family, and we take care of each other.”
“It’s time for your sponge bath Mr. Marsden.” A middle-aged chubby nurse comes in holding a cloth and pan.
“Best part of my day, Delores,” is his snappy comeback.
You’re okay, right? I recall Tommy’s words all those years ago.
He’s going to be okay. We’re going to okay.
Jordan
It took me two phone calls and a personal visit to her house to get Mrs. James to tell me where to find her.
Needless to say, I’m not one of her favorite people right now but I assured her I’m going to fix it––what I’ve broken. That I would do my best to repair the damage I’ve done.
I’ve been sitting in the Bentley for the last twenty minutes outside the hospital waiting for a chance to start over…to do it right this time. All I need is for her to give me a chance to show her that I do trust her. And that she can trust me too.
Riley exits the door braced against the cold wind. She’s wearing a thin denim jacket and her shoulders are rounded, a knitted red scarf wrapped around her neck hiding everything but those big blue eyes. She could get sick dressed like that in this weather.
I jump out of the car and run after her. “Riley!” I yell, crossing the street.
She turns, startled to hear her name. The shock on her beautiful face quickly turns to indifference, a frosty reserve that’s completely unlike her. I did that. I’m responsible for the pain visible under the mask. The shame it comes with hits me hard.
“Hi,” I say, walking up slowly, scared that if I come on too strong she’ll run.
“Hi,” she says quietly.
“Can I talk to you?”
She shakes her head, looks away. “Now is not a good time, Jordan.”
I start to panic. I can’t shake the sentiment. She’s slipping away. I can feel it. “I just need a minute of your time. Can we get a coffee? There’s a Starbuck’s––”
“How did you know I was here?”
“Your mother…I harassed her until she told me your friend…that Tommy guy, is here.” She nods and we’re back to awkward silence. “What happened to him?”
“He got hit by a car.”
“Is he okay?”
“He will be…” She exhales tiredly. She looks tired in fact. An overwhelming urge to carry her away and take care of her comes over me. To hold her and kiss her until that sad look on her face is gone.
“Right now he’s got a skull fracture and he lost his spleen.”
She’s very upset, but I don’t get why. Unless…unless he’s an ex-boyfriend––or a new one.
“Did they catch the person who did it?”
“No.”
She’s not being very forthcoming and it’s frustrating me. She won’t even look at me, evading eye contact. A pit opens up in my stomach. What if I’m too late? What if this guy saw his opening and took it? What if my being a complete dick to her pushed her into a relationship with him?
“Are you two…are you dating him?”
Her head snaps up and her eyes flash with anger. I’ll take it over indifference.
“That’s none of your business.”
And the panic grows. I don’t know what to do with it. “Are you?”
She looks shocked. “How can you even ask me that? You show up here weeks after you throw me out of the house in the middle of night––”
“And I’m sorry for that,” I cut in.
“You accuse me of horrible things––”
“I didn’t mean that either. This is why I’m here, what I came to tell you.”
Tears fill her eyes and my chest cracks open. I can’t handle the tears. Not hers.
“I don’t care what you came to tell me. You hurt me. I’m barely holding it together right now and my friend is in the hospital and he needs me. I can’t…I–I don’t have the energy to make you feel better about what happened, Jordan.”
I step closer and she steps away form me. “Let me explain––”
“If you’re looking for forgiveness, then I forgive you. The little energy I have left I need to save for Tommy.”
Something snaps inside of me, a jealousy so dark and ugly I don’t even recognize it. It’s like the day I lost Lainey. Same feeling. Same sense of loss. Always runner-up. Never the winner.