How Not To Be A Goddess Read Online Marian Tee

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A stern expression hardened Hadrian's features, and I couldn't help squirming. "I can explain," I said weakly.

"I'm all ears, milady," he said politely, "and please do not leave anything out."

Five thousand words later, and I was still squirming while Hadrian looked even sterner. "Whatever happened to your promise of keeping yourself out of trouble?"

"Uh...menopause?"

"Did it not occur to you to at least speak to me first about your quest before taking off?"

"Menopause?"

"And when you realized that Mira had chosen a Gorgon to be your companion, did this not seem even the slightest bit dangerous?"

"Still menopause."

Hadrian took a deep breath.

I held my breath.

And when he finally looked at me—-

The sternness was gone, and instead he simply looked resigned and exasperated.

Yes! We're back to normal!

"Is that your equivalent to the Fifth, milady?"

Since he still sounded a little serious, I answered just as seriously. "Tis a universal truth in life—-"

Hadrian rolled his eyes, but I ignored this.

"No man has ever the right to upset...a woman with the Big M." I looked at him hopefully. "Right?"

But this time, it was Hadrian who pretended not to hear anything. Smart man. If he had said yes, we both knew I'd totally use that to my advantage and be on menopause forever.

"Did the Gorgon try hurting you in any way?" Hadrian asked rather abruptly, and I could only blink and shake my head, taken aback by the anger in his gaze.

"I was scared of her at first," I admitted. "I mean, who wouldn't? But in the end, I think we've gotten along quite well, actually. Although she'll probably deny that. And I think she likes me, but she's probably going to deny that, too."

Hadrian was staring at me with a frown.

"What?"

"You sound as if you're fond of her."

"Are you trying to trip me up?" I asked suspiciously.

"You can't trust her, Saoirse."

I frowned back at him. "It's not like you to judge a person by her hair. Just because she literally has snakes on her head doesn't mean she's also a snake. She—-"

"—-was responsible for the death of at least two thousand men in her time," Hadrian interrupted, "back when she was living on the surface."

"Ha!" He had to be joking. "Yeah right." Any moment now, he'd tell me he was joking.

But Hadrian only gazed at me rather stonily. "Two thousand men, Saoirse."

"Maybe they were all bad men?" I asked weakly.

"Priests, reverends, monks, imams, and even an altar boy. Do those sound like bad men?"

I looked at him helplessly.

"She's a notorious misandrist, and even more notorious for worshipping the ground Mira walks on," Hadrian said curtly. "Would do anything my cousin asks her—-" He suddenly stopped speaking, his head sharply turning towards the door.

I couldn't blame him.

I heard it, too.

Someone slithering up—-

And then it was our door creaking open—-

Sssshit.

I mean, shit.

A cold and mean-looking Ssssusssan now stood before us, and as her gaze slowly turned to the Lord of the Underworld, I saw her lips open.

"Watch out for her tongue!"

But nothing happened.

Instead, the Gorgon simply spoke.

Huh.

In Greek.

Because...Like mistress, like servant.

To which Hadrian answered, also in Greek, and just like that, they were no longer at each other's throats. You could literally feel the violent tension inside of the room disappear in an instant, and I could only look at Hadrian and the Gorgon—-

"What just happened?" I blurted out.

If you were not ssstupid, you would know.

And my boyfriend actually cracked a smile.

The Lord of the Underworld only smiled at my jokes.

Never anyone else's.

So this could only mean one thing.

"Is Susan your ex?" I demanded accusingly. "She is, isn't she? And you only made up all those stories about her so I'd never want to speak to her again, and then your secret about your secret affair will always be safe—-mmph."

Hadrian had pulled me close and covered my mouth with a long, deep kiss. I tried struggling at first, but Hadrian only deepened the kiss in response, his tongue pushing in, and...I was lost. And easy. So much so that by the time he lifted his head, I cried out in protest and pulled his head back down for another kiss.

He chuckled against my lips before indulging my silent plea.

The Gorgon started making retching sounds, but we both ignored her.

When Hadrian lifted his head again, I tried to protest once more, but this time he only shook his head. "I have to go, love."

"You can't," I said quickly. "You...you...you need to stay here to protect me."

"Actually..." His lips twitched. "I think you've never been safer."

My jaw dropped. "So all of that earlier...you really were lying?"

"No."

"Then—-"

"In fact, I'd go as far as saying she's even more evil now."

The Gorgon was a fanatic who killed men for fun...and Hadrian thought it was safe to leave me in her company?

My head just started hurting when I tried making sense of it, but before I could ask Hadrian to do another ELI5, he had already kissed me goodbye, and I was left sighing in his wake.

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