Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 65354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Everyone else came in and controlled the situation, and I was relieved. I didn’t know how to stop a physical fight between anybody. I sensed the discomfort, and it took everything for me to not run out of the gallery in tears. I managed to pull it together and mingle with everyone and make some sales and contacts, but it took everything out of me.
When Tori suggested drinks, I almost wept. She was so happy about everything, and I did it for her, watching uncomfortably as Ryder and Justin joined us. I felt him looking at me all evening, and it took everything not to suggest calling it a night. Diana was by my side and guarding me as she’d been doing since we lost my mom. She tried to ask me about Ryder, but I told her that we were dating for a short while and nothing more.
I didn’t know what to say. I knew that Ryder was a caring man, but his intensity at the moment was too much. Everything crashed around me, and I closed my eyes and rested in the fetal position as I tried to catch my breath.
There were times like tonight when I felt terrified. I remembered the feeling of police in my house and my father telling me that my mom was gone. I’d never see her again because of violence. I went to therapy and talked it out, but my reaction to anything like tonight was quick and harsh. I couldn’t help it. I thought back to the hockey game and my reactions there, and tonight felt like so much more. I just had a distraction that made me get through the night and now I’d recover. I would figure this out and walk into my future, but did that include Ryder?
I had no clue. I pulled the covers over me and told myself that I was tired. I needed sleep badly right now after working so hard. I needed a clear head to get through any of this.
I slept late the following day and ordered take out and just watched movies with Diana. She knew that I was off and asked several times if I wanted to talk about anything. I pretended everything was fine, and the tension was thick between us when she was ready to leave the following day.
“I hate leaving you this way, Elyse.” She looked at me as I shuffled my feet. “You’re not okay, and you’re here all alone.”
“I’m not alone. Tori watches over me. I have friends who are there for me,” I protested, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I am going to throw myself into work, and it’s going to be great.”
“I hope so, sweet girl. You deserve it.”
She enveloped me in a hug and made me feel so safe. Diana offered to let me stay with her, but once I was settling into art, I decided to live by myself. I didn’t want to live a life based on fear. Tori encouraged me every step of the way and I was doing well, even if I did get a little crazy when it came to locking my doors. I checked it more than once sometimes, but I enjoyed living alone, and every officer in town kept a watchful eye on my place. I waved as Diana drove off and entered my home, locking the door as I let the tears finally slide down my cheeks. I cried for my mom and everything the incident did to my family. I cried for Diana, who missed her sister so much and did everything to try to keep me safe, even if it was overkill at times. I couldn’t blame her for that. I cried for my dad and the shell of a man who he became as a result of the murder.
Did Ryder know? I knew that it wasn’t difficult to find out, but he never indicated that he knew. I saw the burning curiosity in his eyes often, but I didn’t know what to say. People would find out if they looked into my background, and I would be exposed. Tori told me not to worry because I did nothing wrong. She promised me that it would die down if it became anything to begin with at all. When Ryder found out, I wondered if he’d be disappointed that I didn’t tell him myself. Maybe he’d hold it against me the way I still did to myself years later.
People asked me sometimes why I didn’t get involved with others. This was the reason. Ryder was different, and I just fell for him. I didn’t know where it would go.
I woke up in my dark bedroom to the sound of someone knocking at my front door. I froze as I listened, looking around until I could make out the shapes of my furniture. I saw my phone on the table beside the bed and reached for it, blinking at the messages I missed.