Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 99766 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 499(@200wpm)___ 399(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99766 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 499(@200wpm)___ 399(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
This should weird me out, sleeping in his bed. Cuddling. It’s so out of character for me. I keep waiting to freak the hell out, but there’s something about him that calms me. I slide my leg between his, nudging his cock that feels huge, not even erect, wondering if we’ll ever get to that point.
Sex.
It has always seemed so foreign to me. Like something I knew I’d never be capable of having. I never understood the desire of it to be honest.
Until now.
My core throbs. I have an insane urge to rub against his cock with my knee, deliberately making him hard. But then I’d have to do something with it. I know for a fact I’m not ready for whatever that might entail. I settle for creeping my palm over his chest and nuzzling my face against his neck. He smells like soap and safety. I love it.
“Your thoughts are loud,” he says. “Go to sleep.”
I nod, clutching onto him tighter. I take pleasure in the fact I’m not panicking at being held by him. It feels right. I hope when I’m not terrified from a nightmare, I can try this again. I want to explore these new feelings with Terrence.
I like him.
I want him.
I just don’t know how to get him.
He’s eager and ready, seemingly desperate to be a part of my world. I wish I could give it to him. I know, though, it’s not that easy. Because of me. My mind is a fucking mess. After a long, frustrated sigh, I relax and allow myself this moment. Even if it’s only one night.
Smash: I’ve given you space. Come over tonight or let me come to you. Fuck, Penny, I just need to see you and talk to you.
I stare at Terrence’s text.
God, I am such a bitch.
I’ve avoided him all week since our night we spent together.
While that night was one of the best I’ve ever had, the next morning was not. I woke up in a panic, bolting before he could even utter a good morning. I’ve been cold and distant ever since.
And I hate myself for it.
I’m not enough for someone like Terrence and I know it. Not when he could have someone like Lacey. From what I’ve dragged out of Zella, her mom is the sweetest person in the whole world. A princess, she claimed. She said she’s not allowed to talk about her mother because her daddy gets mad. Lacey is probably sweet and affectionate, just what Terrence needs.
I need to find her because they both need her. Terrence and Zella.
My heart aches just thinking about their reunion.
Finding my nerve, I reply back to Terrence.
Me: I’m out. Will be until late.
Smash: Tomorrow night then?
Me: Party, remember?
Smash: Fuck the party, Penny. Jesus. Stop pushing me away.
Guilt swells up inside of me, making me nearly choke on it. I swallow it down, biting back tears that prickle in my eyes.
“Penny, why aren’t you playing with me?” Zella asks, brushing through her Barbie’s hair.
I force a smile. “Sorry. I had to text someone.”
We continue to play as I mull over Terrence’s words. I already promised Tierra I’d go to the party, despite not wanting to with every fiber of my being. I want to see Terrence. It’s been punishment seeing him at practice and not speaking to him all week.
A car door slams, making me jolt. It’s almost midnight and Zella’s still up. Crap.
“Hurry,” I rush out. “Get to bed so you don’t get into trouble.”
She abandons her dolls, running to her room. Quickly, I rise to my feet, shoving my phone into my pocket. The door flings open and I face off with the creep. As soon as I smell the booze on him, I cringe.
Earlier, when he’d left to go out, he’d been all smiles and friendly.
Now, he breathes heavily and his body thrums with violent energy. I stumble over the Barbie dolls in the middle of the floor, nearly falling on my ass in the process. Thankfully, I right myself before I hit the floor.
“Zella!” he yells. “What the fuck have I told you about leaving your goddamn toys out?”
I shake my head at him. “It’s my fault. I told her to go to bed and that I’d pick them up.”
He kicks the dolls, scattering them everywhere. I’m frozen in place as he stalks my way. I let out a shriek when he grabs the front of my hoodie and walks me back to the wall. Once I’m pinned, he narrows his stare on me.
As much as I want to close my eyes, I refuse to back down. I lift my chin and shoot him back a fiery glare.
“So you’re the little girl who needs punishing tonight. That what you’re saying, sweetheart?”
“It was a mistake,” I say in a cold voice. “Won’t happen again.”