Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 104842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Passing my nightstand, I looked at my phone in the charger and saw I had six missed messages from a number I didn’t recognize. I called it because six was a lot.
“Jason,” Varic said on the other end of the line, and I was so happy to hear his voice, my breath caught and I couldn’t speak. “Love?”
Just that much, and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Jason. Sometimes I think stupid things like, if I speak to him every night and confess my heart, tell him how much I miss him, it will make the pain of being parted even worse, when in reality, it’s the exact opposite.”
I was nodding.
“Yes?”
“Mmmm,” I barely got out.
“I have missed you terribly,” he said matter-of-factly.
It was funny because he stated his feelings honestly, without flourish, and because of that, I felt the words down deep. Hearing them was like being thrown a lifeline. He pulled me out of the cold, dark water where I’d been swimming back to safety and warmth and love.
“Me too,” I managed to choke out.
“And it’s worse for you, and I know that because it’s not merely that you miss me, it’s that you’re unable to thrive without me because I’m your mate.”
I cleared my throat. “I’ve been your mate since you called me your consort after our first night together.”
“In word, yes,” he murmured, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Stop thinking about us in bed and finish what you were going to say,” I ordered him.
His chuckle was filthy. “Yes. You’re right. I counted you as mine from the moment I first tasted your blood, but you were made into my mate when I changed your blood.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that without me at your side, you will slowly, at the seams, break apart.”
I had to parse his words. “That makes no sense.”
“I know.”
“That’s not logically possible.”
“What can I tell you?”
“So I’m…what, fraying at the edges?”
“I suspect more than the edges.”
“Be specific,” I demanded, but kept my tone gentle. In person, I would have given it to him with both barrels, but on the phone, I was careful because I wasn’t there to touch him or hold his hand. It was my rule: we only fought in person so we could fix whatever it was before any chasm opened between us. “You’re telling me that being apart from you is slowly killing me?”
“Not killing,” he bit out the words. “You will not—”
“I will die, someday,” I said, because as assured as he was of his own immortality, he never wanted to speak of my mortality. “But not now.”
“No,” he said with a sharp exhale. “Not now.”
“But what is happening to me?”
Quick inhale. “You are breaking down mentally, emotionally, and both are taking a toll on you physically as well.”
“And you did that.”
“Yes,” he whispered.
“Okay.”
Beats of silence went by.
“Okay?” he finally said, sounding stunned.
“Yeah.”
“How can you be so cavalier about this?”
“I’m not. Not at all. But you didn’t do it intentionally, did you?”
“I…yes. I knew it would happen, and I didn’t warn you and then I left you.”
“Well, that’s horrible,” I told him, at the same time unable to dredge up all the anger I should have felt because I was still so happy and relieved to be talking to him. But that didn’t mean we didn’t need boundaries. “And if you do it again, I won’t be here when you get back.”
“You cannot threaten—”
I hung up. It was hard to do and basically threw my own rules right out the window because cutting him off was bound to infuriate him, and if he got mad enough not to return to me, then all this was like cutting off my nose to spite my face. And I’d always hated that expression, but as I got older, I understood a lot of old sayings more than I used to.
Honestly, I was surprised when the phone rang. I didn’t think he would call back so quickly. “Hello.”
“I will never not inform you of something I’ve done, and more importantly, we will never be parted again.”
I chuckled.
“Why would you laugh?” he asked, his voice brittle and hard.
“Because we will be parted again. You have things to do without me, and most of them are boring as shit and I wouldn’t want to tag along anyway.”
“Oh,” he muttered, and I could hear the surprise.
“And I’m a pretty strong guy, so you leaving me for two, three weeks at a time, I can deal with. It’s the five months, nearly half a year, that did me in.”
He cleared his throat. “Yes.”
“So don’t go making blanket promises you can’t possibly keep. Instead, be upfront and always tell me what’s going on.”
Heavy sigh. “Agreed.”
“And let’s be honest, you were so mad when you left and—”
“I was furious that my father—”