Total pages in book: 56
Estimated words: 52598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 263(@200wpm)___ 210(@250wpm)___ 175(@300wpm)
“I appreciate it, but I’d rather be in my own bed and have JoJo at home. She may have questions, and as hard as they are, I know they’ll come anytime now.” Josephine won’t have any questions. I’m lying to my parents and my damn self. She hasn’t yet so far when I’ve explained to her that her mom is in heaven and looking down at her. She’s asked a few times where her mom is, and I’ll reiterate the same thing, then she’ll go back to playing. Tonight, though, I feel raw, even though I didn’t have a physical or emotional relationship with Josephine’s mom. My heart still breaks for Emma and Josephine. Which is why, when we get home tonight, I’ll settle her in my bed, grab a quick shower, and hold on to my little girl on what she’ll never know will be one of the hardest days of her life.
“It was worth a shot. If anything changes, you know we're here.” I know she’s gearing up to mention wanting to take Josephine full-time while I work.
“I know, and I appreciate it.” I bend down to kiss her cheek. She squeezes my arms, and I stand back.
“Alright, stubborn firstborn boy of mine. We’re here, always,” Mom states.
“Let the boy get JoJo, Mariam. You’ll stay up worrying about the few miles he’ll have to travel in order to get home as it is.” He’s not wrong. It doesn’t matter that I’m nearing forty, that Matthew isn’t too far behind me in age. She expects a call or a text when we get home. The same can be said for Lacey on the rare occasions she’s not with Matthew.
“Fine,” Mom huffs. I chuckle under my breath. As if it pains her to be called out on her worry when we all know it’s coming from a good place. Dad shakes his head as we walk toward the back of their ranch-style house they’ve lived in since we came home from the hospital. Not much has changed in my parents’ house. The walls in the hallway are covered with different-sized frames. Every year or milestone or another, one is added to the wall. There are pictures of Mom and Dad, Matthew and Lacey, but the majority of the pictures that cover the walls. Those are filled with Josephine. Something tells me Mom will eventually run out of room or the older pictures will be taken over by more of the only granddaughter.
“She means well. You know it, and I know it. If you choose to put JoJo in school, we’ll understand, but maybe give your mom once a week with her. Your mother doesn’t do well with change, you know?” Dad makes a valid point. The schools Emma was looking into means she’d attend five days a week. Josephine is only two. It seems to be too much for too long, but what the fuck do I know?
“I’m not pushing you or Mom out of the way, or Matthew and Lacey for that matter either. Everyone has their own lives to live. I think Emma saw that before I did. Our family has put their lives on hold for two years. It’s time you and Mom start to do more than working and watching after JoJo.” I pause in our walk since we’re now standing outside of Josephine’s room. My goal is to move her from the bedroom to her car seat and repeat the process when we get home and hopefully she’ll stay asleep if I don’t jostle her around too damn much.
“Yeah, your mother has been asking me to take her out west for years now. I think you’re onto something, son.” I slowly turn the handle on the door. There my princess sleeps, soundly, with her thumb in her mouth and the bunny she prefers to hold on to each night.
“It’s not a bad idea, to take a trip here and there.” Mom and Dad still work. Mom as a nurse at the local high school, Dad as the manager of the hardware store. One day, when they’re both ready to retire, they want to buy one of those vans to travel in; not an RV but a van, all kitted out with the creature comforts Mom wants and demands.
“I think you’re right. I’ll talk to your mother once you’re settled in with Josephine,” Dad whispers, standing near the door. I move toward the bed, quiet on my feet. Josephine isn’t what I’d call a deep sleeper, especially if she’s not in her own bed.
“Shhh,” I coo softly as one hand goes beneath her neck, my arm reaching underneath her knees. Josephine turns into my body, holding on to her bunny tightly, and her little eyelids flutter as if they’re going to open but manage to stay closed. I take a moment to breathe in my little girl’s scent. Her baby scent has long since vanished, but in its place is the body wash she uses now. The fresh scent from her bath this morning lingers lightly, and it calms the bullshit swirling in my head as I whisper, “Let’s go home, sweetheart,” once I’ve got her in my arms and she’s settled. The thought of Kody and how she played with my little girl for hours without a break comes to mind, how when I did finally run interference, there was a blush on her cheeks. And when she stood up, walking back toward Shaun, it was damn hard not to let my gaze linger on her ass. I shake off the thought of what she’d feel like in my hands.