Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 34198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 171(@200wpm)___ 137(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 171(@200wpm)___ 137(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
It wasn’t until they got in the car to go to his house did he break the silence between them. “I thought I could live without you,” he began. Seamus wasn’t sure where to start but he believed that was as good a place as any.
When Tamryn didn’t reply, he continued. “I’ve told you a little about my history. How my father never quite got over my mother even though she constantly cheated on him according to his side of things. And he spent my entire existence while he was alive blaming me for her death. It was my first lesson of love that once it took root, it was dangerous because it could make you weak. But eventually I grew up and I fell in love. I was so blinded by how I felt that I didn’t see who she really was. She left me for my father because she believed that he could give her more. From that point on I distanced myself from any commitments and getting involved and caring about any woman. And then I met you. I saw you standing there, watching me and I think from that second we established this unspeakable connection. I denied it at first, telling myself that I was just being a Good Samaritan by getting you something to eat, but it was much more than that. I wanted to be near you. When you took off, that first time I thought I was saved from making a mistake. But then fate stepped in and there you were in Darrius’s office. As much as my head told me to walk away, my heart just wouldn’t let me.
“I could have just given you a few bucks and dropped you off somewhere but I couldn’t let you go. I figured the Devil’s Den would be a good place as any but I didn’t count on you becoming an obsession. I believed that when I had you once or twice I could move on with my life and not think about you again but that wasn’t the case. Then I tried to tell myself it was just sex but it was so much more. Not only are you beautiful and sexy, you’re smart and driven. You’re a survivor and one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. I doubt many people would be able to go through what you did and not go completely crazy. And despite all the shit life has thrown your way, you still have hope of something better for yourself.
“I love that you care about other people and want to help them. That’s a rare quality in this world. And the really fucked-up part is that instead of telling you how I felt, I thought I could forget you by being with someone else. I saw you standing at the bar and like a coward, I went to that other woman which turned out to be a huge waste of time because all I could think about was you. I was so scared of getting hurt again that I pushed the best thing that ever happened to me away. And then when I found out that Natalia had paired you with that psychopath, I knew I couldn’t lose you. I haven’t done a lot of good in my life and the truth is I don’t deserve you, but I’m asking if you would consider giving me a chance…us a chance. I want to make this real.”
Still, Tamryn didn’t speak.
“Please say something. Tell me what I can do to make you see that I’m sincere.”
She sighed. “I don’t doubt your sincerity, Seamus. But I’m scared, too. Everyone I’ve ever gotten close to has let me down in some way shape or form. And seeing you tonight with Nicki made me realize that you’re not different. You may honestly feel like you’re in love with me but somewhere down the line, you’ll probably end up disappointing me, too.”
Seamus pulled his car off to the side of the road and switched off the engine. He turned to face Tamryn, taking her hands in his. There were tears in her beautiful brown eyes and he could see her fear. More than anything he wanted to assure Tamryn and let her know that no matter what, she had his heart.
“And how do I know you won’t end up disappointing me? You sound like I feel. Don't you think I’m scared too? I love you, Tamryn. And I’ve only ever said that to one other person, but she was just an idea in my head. I never really knew her, not like I know you. And if there’s anyone I’d risk my heart for again it’s you. Life is full of uncertainties but I don’t want to face them without you. If you love me too, then we can take this one day at a time. Just say yes.”