Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 332(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 332(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
“That’s it,” he said. He looked like he wanted to reach over and pat me reassuringly on the back, but he thought better of it. He stood, pulled a few dollar bills out of his pocket to leave on the bar, and left.
Taking any hope I had of getting out of this unscathed with him.
26
LILY
I should have been terrified, but instead, I felt a deluge of joy sweep through me. My rational, logical side tried to temper it.
What do you have to be happy about? You’re barely twenty-three. You haven’t even started law school. You’re going to raise a baby while building your career? That’ll be…interesting.
Funny, I’d never realized how snide my logical inner voice could sound. I answered it defensively. Yes, it will be interesting. And amazing. Con did it when he was only nineteen, and so can I. Besides, I won’t be doing it alone.
Would I?
A whisper of trepidation cut through the argument I was having with myself. When I saw the positive sign on the pregnancy test, I also saw the future. Con standing in my hospital room, a bundled blanket in his arms. A sweet, peaceful profile peeking out from the folds, eyes closed, lashes resting against soft cheeks. I saw as if in a montage the blur of sleepless nights we’d get through together. The way he’d have to lean far over to hold the small grasping hands. I saw a dozen different scenes just like this, and it wasn’t until now that I realized I wasn’t just imagining them. I’d seen these pictures.
Con holding newborn Halley, looking so young and yet still somehow so confident. His tall body doubled over to hold both of her hands when she was learning to walk, twisting his neck to smile up at the camera. Not much older now, but with exhausted eyes. And on and on, until the most recent one she had of the two of them at her high school graduation.
Halley.
She would be the baby’s big sister. I choked out a queer laugh at the realization. Now a new flood of images filled my mind. Con and I telling her together, our hands locked. A united front against the person we loved best. Con flying east to tell her without me while I waited in LA for the inevitable angry phone call. She’d get over it, I told myself. When she saw that I really loved him and this wasn’t about his money or his power. When she saw how happy we were. She’d forgive us.
I couldn’t quite conjure up that image though, so I pushed it all out of my mind. I couldn’t deal with it now. I didn’t want to. I wanted to feel that overwhelming joy again without the complications of real life. I curled up in a corner of the couch and wrapped my arms around the throw pillow, buried my face in it and imagined I was breathing in the scent of a newborn instead of wiry cotton fibers that smelled vaguely of my shampoo with the faintest hint of Con’s aftershave. It reminded me of what we’d done on this couch to create the newborn I was imagining, and even with my face buried in the pillow, a blush rose to my cheeks. At the same time, my excitement surged again. I couldn’t wait to tell him. He’d be surprised, but he said he’d thought about having more children. That he wished he had been able to do it with the right person and not have to spend their childhood scrambling and hustling.
He’d said it regretfully, like that chance had come and gone, but he was wrong. It was here.
I sprung to my feet and began pacing, my eyes sweeping the space. It was too small to raise a baby in. We could move into the Hills where he raised Lily, or maybe he’d even be willing to leave LA, if he was going to take a step back from his career anyway. A thrill shot through me as I pictured us raising our child in the palatial ski lodge he owned in Colorado or even the beach house in Croatia. Colorado would be better, I decided. I could do law school more easily if we stayed in the country. But nothing was impossible. Nothing at all.
I swept my hands up over my head and spun around, exhilarated. We could do anything now. He’d said it himself—he’d already achieved everything he ever wanted to in his career. Now we could live the life he’d thought had passed him by, and I would figure out how to build mine wherever that took us.
I ran lightly across the floor to the elevator bank, hoping to see the light that indicated he was coming up. Logically, I knew he was at happy hour with Landon, Garrett, Dominic, and Julian, but I still hoped that somehow, my boundless joy had crossed the distance between us and summoned him. I’d go to him, I decided. The guys knew anyway. But even before I pressed the button to summon the elevator, I changed my mind. No, that wasn’t how I wanted to tell him.