Total pages in book: 20
Estimated words: 18451 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 92(@200wpm)___ 74(@250wpm)___ 62(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 18451 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 92(@200wpm)___ 74(@250wpm)___ 62(@300wpm)
“Who said we have to go back to the doctor? Why can’t we talk about other options?”
“Like what?”
“Surrogate? Adoption?” I scoff. Yes, I still have my inheritance, and Theo makes great money on his assignments, and now me being co-owner of Brenda’s grocery store, we can afford it, but still, we are talking more hardships.
“That’s just as emotionally draining and heartbreaking and not that easy, Theo. Please, can we talk about this later? It’s almost Christmas, and I wanted tonight to be about us. You and me.”
Sucking his teeth, he throws his hands up in mock surrender. "All right. Fine.”
Great. Not so holly and jolly tonight, I guess. Knowing I don’t want to leave us on this note, I take his hands and kiss each of his knuckles.
“I want a baby with you, and I will be ready soon. Just give me more time to come to terms with what that means for me. For us.”
I would have never believed that Theo would want a child when we first became friends with benefits—or hell, even in the beginning of our relationship. But a year in, something changed. He wanted me so badly, multiple times a day, eagerly yet with softness.
I thought he was just horny.
Nope.
He was literally breeding me. Trying so hard to get me pregnant. When I caught on, I was shocked that he had grown into the type of man who could want a family. But I wanted a family—and what’s more was I wanted it with him. So, we went to the doctor and began the IVF journey. It drained me. I couldn’t do it again. I had to heal from what I prayed could have been, what should have been, and what would have been if my body had not failed me.
“Okay, I don’t want to pressure you. I have no complaints about the trying process right now.” He winks, and just like that, he lets me breathe. And I do, letting out a sigh of thanks.
“I’m yours, and I will give us what we dream of. I promise. I love you, Theo.”
“I love you, puppet. Now, let’s go watch a Christmas movie. We could use some cheesy-ass cheer.”
Nodding in agreement, we both stand, and like always, we towel each other off.
God, if he only knew….
Chapter Three
Theo
The fire crackles, and the TV plays some type of corny Christmas movie that Hanna insisted we watch. After the heavy in our aftercare bath, I think I owe it to her. I don’t want to push her to try for another baby, because believe me, watching her go through that was fucking brutal. But the idea of never having a child with her? That makes me feel equally fucking devastated.
I never wanted a family… until her. I never wanted love until her. I never had a fucking heartbeat until her. And just like this cheesy Christmas movie we’re watching, I’m that lovesick over my goddess of a fiancée. In fact, you could change the name of the characters to ours, because we would fit the parts perfectly.
Look at me now. If twenty-one-year-old me could see thirty-three-year-old me, he would be repulsed, and I would laugh in his face mockingly and sadistically with pride. I’m proud of the man she makes me want to be. From playboy to daddy material overnight. This madwoman, making me this way.
“I think these movies are cute but so unrealistic,” she speaks, shuffling her feet in my lap.
“Yet here I am,” I add.
“Here you are, what?” She looks at me, pausing the movie. The embers from the fire make her green eyes look like crystals reflecting under the brightest light.
“Hanna, I’m in the middle of the woods, snowed in, in a cabin, begging you to give me kids and talking about my childhood bullshit, and all I want to do is hang the fucking moon and stars for you. I want to take the world and place it at your feet. I’m your cheesy fucking love story, baby.”
“Theo Fitzgerald, is this a Christmas miracle? Who are you right now?” Leaping up from her position, she scoots closer to me, then straddles me. I jerk my head back, her sudden move catching me off guard, but I won’t complain; it’s welcomed. My hands fall into place, taking residence on her luscious, full ass.
“You know, no one would believe you if you told them I’m like this with you. And I'll deny it if you try.” I wink, then lean in and bite her chin.
Shrieking, she responds, “I have more credibility.” She shrugs.
“Why is that?”
“Because I’m nice to everyone, and you’re the Scrooge. Who will they believe?”
“Fair.” I nod, my declaration of losing.
“How about we keep it between us, and if you are a good girl and don’t spill my secret, I will reward you.”
Her grin begins to widen, but we are interrupted when her phone starts beeping, one after another, mere seconds between each sound.